Friday 31 May 2013

Practically Speaking - May 31, 2013

Words Of Affirmation
Vow to yourself that you will very carefully consider the words you use with those you love, especially in emotionally charged situations. That extra few seconds finding the right words will have much more impact than the torrent that can flow from a heated exchange.
 
Acts Of Service
Are you feeling a bit too overwhelmed for Spring cleaning? Plan a CLEAN-A-THON! Plot your course by going from room to room, writing down one thing you would like to do in each. Grab a stopwatch and get started: Spend five minutes in each room cleaning, folding, organizing—whatever you previously listed. When the five-minute mark hits, sprint to the next room. Repeat cycle until you've accomplished your goal. Break as needed.
 
Receiving Gifts
Who says that men don't deserve a little pampering, as well? Chances are your town has a barber or grooming salon that caters to men, so arrange for a lengthy session including a haircut, shave, and any other services they offer that your man will appreciate.
 
Quality Time
It's time to discover something new with someone you appreciate or love. Find a new restaurant for dinner. Walk in a park you've never been to. Try the new coffee shop up the street. Not only will this be a fun experience for you both, it will also allow you to create new memories together.
 
Physical Touch
Sometimes the gift of touch needs to be your partner's choice. When you have the opportunity, don't just immediately take their hand . . . instead reach out, showing your intent, and let them choose to take yours. The gesture shows your desire for their touch too, and how much you value your shared tactile experience.

Wednesday 29 May 2013

No More Spineless Christianity

The apostle Paul not only confronted sin but named specific sins when he preached. Why can’t we?
People often complain about angry preachers. I don’t like them either, and I agree that if a person mixes a sermon with hateful language (or if he believes God has called him to picket other churches), he’s in the wrong profession. Yet today we’ve jumped to the opposite extreme. Now we are afraid to confront sin.

We can’t preach about materialism because we might offend rich people in the audience—as well as the poor people who buy Lotto tickets every week. We can’t preach about fornication because there are people in the church who are living together. We can’t preach about domestic violence because there are deacons who sometimes hit their wives. We can’t preach about homosexuality because our culture says it’s hateful to call that a sin.

And the list goes on. In fact, some preachers are avoiding the word sin altogether because it’s too negative. And we all know that the latest polls show people want a positive message.

This temptation to dilute the gospel has produced a new recipe for a trendy sermon. We start with some great motivational speaking (“Your past does not define your future!”), add a few quarts of cheap grace (“Don’t focus on your sin!”), pour in some prosperity gospel (“Run to this altar and grab your financial breakthrough!”), flavor it with some trendy pop psychology (“It’s all about you!”) and voila!—you end up with a goopy mess of pabulum that not even a baby Christian could survive on.

Friday 24 May 2013

Practically Speaking - May 24, 2013

Words Of Affirmation
Grab some sidewalk chalk and have some fun with it! For example: If you want to show love or appreciate someone who has taken the car to work, write a big "VIP Parking" in a car shaped rectangle on the driveway where they park. Then draw a path of affirming words they are to follow once they get out of the car. By the time they reach the house, they will feel loved.
 
Acts Of Service
Over the cold winter months you may have had the delight of acquiring some useless things. Team up with a loved one to find those physical (or even digital) items no longer vital for your lives together. If they need a new home, then pack them up and take to the nearest thrift shop or family in need. If not, trash them. You'll be amazed at the freedom you'll both feel.
 
Receiving Gifts
Who says you can't make up your own holiday? Who says only birthdays and anniversaries are worthy of gifts? Pick a day with your partner, clear the calendar, and celebrate. Make your own theme, suggest appropriate gifts and go all out marking the day you choose.
 
Quality Time
Spend some time reading your child A Perfect Pet for Peyton. Your child will enjoy the story, finding the hidden animals, and the interactive iPhone app that brings the book to life. Most of all, they will enjoy the quality time with you.
 
Physical Touch
When separated by distance, having physical items that belong to one another may serve as a tangible substitute. Perhaps a shirt sprayed with the cologne or perfume of your significant other may remind you of each other and of enjoyable times together.

Wednesday 22 May 2013

There Are No Indian Reservations in Heaven

God’s heart is broken over the spiritual condition of the Native American community. Do you care?
I spent part of this week preaching at my friend Quentin Beard’s church in Sioux Falls, S.D. On Sunday—which happened to be Pentecost—I reminded the congregation that if we really want the fullness of the Holy Spirit, we must have more than just emotionally charged worship, speaking in tongues or miracles of healing. Those things are wonderful, but if we want full-blown Pentecost we must also tear down racial and ethnic barriers.

Later that morning, a tall Native American brother named Joe Marrowbone came to the altar for prayer. He is from the Lakota Sioux tribe, and he wanted the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Within a few moments, he was praying in tongues with his hands raised in the air. He told me later that He feels God will send him to share the gospel on some of the Indian reservations near Sioux Falls.

Joe was especially blessed when I addressed the issue of racism among whites and Native people in his home state. I told the church that when we get to heaven, there will not be a white section, a Hispanic section, a black section or a Native section. “We are all one big family. There are no Indian reservations in heaven," I said.

Tuesday 21 May 2013

Men Don’t Like to Work on Relationships

When a man falls in love with a woman, his thoughts go something like this: I love her, she’s great—in fact, she is perfect.  I love her just the way she is and I hope she never changes.  It was this thinking that inspired Billy Joel to write the song “I Love You Just the Way You Are.”  On the other hand, when a woman falls in love with a man, her thoughts are generally something like this: I love him, he’s great, but he really needs some work.  This is a disaster in the making.  Divergent expectations always lead to conflict.

When a woman thinks a man needs work, she is not trying to be negative or demeaning.  In fact, she rather enjoys the thought.  Do you know why?  Because women like to work on relationships, and because marriage represents her greatest relationship, she enjoys working on it.  But the thought of working on any relationship makes most men feel ill.  You see, to a man, work is something you do to earn money.  Relationships don’t fit into a man’s definition of work.  We think relationships are the one class of things we should never have to work on.

So when a woman wants to work on the marriage relationship, the husband usually gets nervous and uncomfortable.  The reason is simple: She says she wants to work on “the relationship,” but men view that as code for she wants me to change.  And men don’t want to change.  To a man, “change” is a four-letter word. This is primarily because we men have fragile egos.  We don’t you handle there is something wrong with very well.

Friday 17 May 2013

Practically Speaking - May 17, 2013

Words Of Affirmation
"My husband's primary love language is Words of Affirmation. On one of his birthdays, I wrote a single word of each of his best attributes on vellum paper. There were about 80 of them and I put in a small paper jewelry box with my picture on top. And during our lunch he read every one and I could tell he really loved it!" ~Anonymous
 
Acts Of Service
If you have children, offer to take care of them for a few hours so that your spouse can rest.
 
Receiving Gifts
Most people enjoy a good writing utensil. Next time you are at a store, look at the pens and see if there are any that seem a cut above average. Pick it up for anyone whose primary love or appreciation language is Receieving Gifts.
 
Quality Time
The NBA playoff season is a great time to get together with colleagues and watch sports together. Take the initiative and see what people are doing and if they'd like to get together!
 
Physical Touch
Cooking with your spouse often provides moments of close interaction. If your spouse's love language is Physical Touch, maximize these moments with your loving or playful touch.

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The Bible Verse No Guy Enjoys Reading

Deuteronomy 23:1 is painful—but it shows us that God wants to heal the wounds of the masculine soul.
I’d never heard a sermon on Deuteronomy 23:1 until last month, when my Puerto Rican friend Luis Roig had the courage to read the text out loud to a group of men in Florida. When he did, one guy gasped and fell on the floor. Several others laughed nervously, and we all drew our knees together and groaned.

The Holman translation says it this way:
“No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may enter the Lord’s assembly.”
Ouch!

Please pardon the graphic language, but older translations just aren’t clear. The King James Version says, “He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.” That’s putting it mildly!

Most of us dismiss or ignore this odd passage, either because the subject matter is embarrassing or because the law seems unfair. After all, if a man’s private parts are damaged in an accident, why should he be considered an outcast?

Friday 10 May 2013

Practically Speaking - May 10, 2013

Words Of Affirmation
"Whenever my friends are encountering a challenge or bad situation in their lives, I send them a message telling them that I believe in them. I also remind them of God's great love and purpose for their life." ~Elionei
 
Acts Of Service
"When my husband bought his motorcycle, I did not like it at all. I finally went on a ride and now I love it! When he is getting the cycle ready for riding, I'll go out and help him clean it. He loves me helping and I get my tank filled with quality time, too!" ~Anonymous
 
Receiving Gifts
If someone you love has a Pinterest (or other social media site) pagewhere they post items on their wish list, check it out. Pick something you know they've been pining for, and present it to them when they least expect it.
 
Quality Time
Find a bench at a shopping center, park, or alongside a beach. People watch. Take photographs. Talk about what you see. Make up fictional conversations of the people you see walking by. Point out interesting flowers near the scene. Stop and take everything in around you, especially each other.
 
Physical Touch
Next time you go to a restaurant with someone your spouse, ask to be seated in a booth. Sit on the same side. It may seem awkward at first as people stare. However, the gawks will turn to envy as they see you talk, laugh, and playfully touch shoulders, knees, and hands.

Thursday 9 May 2013

Disappointment

At the beginning of every relationship, there is a high level of hope and desire that causes it to run on autopilot.  But over time hope and desire begin to erode when disappointment enters.

There are dozens of ways we can disappoint one another in a relationship as close and intimate as marriage.  From I thought it would be different to actual differences in upbringing, values, habits about money, personality, motivation, work ethic, and sex drives, we have the makings of marriage wars.  Sometimes people come across offensively because they are reacting to pain from the hurts that they have experienced in the past, and they are just trying to protect themselves from being injured again.  Wounded animals do not act predictably when you approach them; neither do emotionally wounded humans.

When Jim and Laurie walked into my office, I was shocked to discover they were about to call it quits.  From the outside, they looked like a great couple. Fun. Social. They were active in church.  But secretly they were at war with each other.  A lot of it had to do with the way each had grown up.

Jim grew up in a home where both his parents were quiet and seldom, if ever, raised their voices.  In Jim’s home, raising your voice meant you were extremely angry.  Laurie, on the other hand, grew up in a larger family, where you had to yell or you lost your opportunity to get the food at the other end of the dinner table.  The only time her family got quiet was when they were really, really mad.


Wednesday 8 May 2013

Managing Our Thoughts


You’ve got to admit—anger shows up, and we let him in. Revenge needs a place to stay, so we have him pull up a chair. Pity wants a party, we show him the kitchen.

Don’t we know how to say no?  For most of us, thought management is, well, un-thought of.  Shouldn’t we be as concerned about managing our thoughts as we are managing anything else?

Jesus stubbornly guarded the gateway of his heart. On one occasion the people determined to make Jesus their king. Most of us would delight in the notion. Not Jesus.  When He saw they were about to grab him and make him king,  John 6:15 tells us, “Jesus slipped off and went back up the mountain to be by himself.”

Proverbs says, be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life!  (Proverbs 4:23).  Jesus did, shouldn’t we do the same?  Most certainly!

from: Just Like Jesus

7 Ways to Stop the Adultery Epidemic

Why is there an epidemic of moral failure in the church? Because holiness has become a foreign concept.
It happened again. For the third time in six months, the pastor of a large church in my hometown of Orlando, Fla., has resigned from his pulpit because of adultery. I’m sad. I’m sick. I’m sorry for the pastors, and sorrier for the congregations that are having to deal with the fallout caused by bad choices.

I’m also cringing because an increasingly hostile public sees these train wrecks as evidence that Christians are hypocrites who preach one thing and live another. We stand for biblical marriage between one man and one woman, but in many cases those marriages are failing. No wonder the gay community hates our flimsy platitudes.

Why are we witnessing this epidemic of moral failure? Many factors could be cited (easy access to pornography, sex-saturated entertainment, the devil and his demons, etc.)—but I don’t think we need a list of excuses today. I’m tired of excuses. The devil does not make us do this. It is totally possible for Christian men and women to live in holiness today. The power of His grace is not affected by social trends or hell’s attacks.

Maybe we’ve made this too complicated. Let’s go back to some basic ways we can stay pure:

Tuesday 7 May 2013

You Harvest What You Plant


Pretend you’ve come to visit me.  I’m working in my greenhouse.  (Neither my house nor my thumb is green, but let’s pretend.) It’s the perfect spot for flowers and fruit.  You’ve always thought I was a bit crazy, but what I do next removes all doubt. I strip seeds off weeds—crab grass, grass burrs. You can’t believe what you’ve just seen.

“I thought you wanted a greenhouse full of flowers and fruit!” you say.

“I do,” I answer.

You ask, “Then don’t you think you ought to plant flower seeds and fruit seeds?”

My foolish response, “Do you have any idea how much those seeds cost?  No thanks, I’m taking the cheap and easy route.”

Think for a moment of your heart as a greenhouse. Consider your thoughts as seed. Some become flowers.  Others weeds.  Sow seeds of hope and enjoy optimism. Sow seeds of doubt and expect insecurity.

Galatians 6:7 says, “People harvest only what they plant.”

from: Just Like Jesus

Monday 6 May 2013

Face the Music


Many years ago a man conned his way into an orchestra although he could not play a note.  He would hold his flute against his lips, pretend to play but not make a sound.  Then one day the leader requested a solo from each musician. The man was panic stricken. On the day of his solo performance, he took poison and killed himself. The explanation of his suicide led to a phrase that found its way into the English language:  “He refused to face the music.”

Face the music! Some of us have buried a marriage, parts of a conscience, and even parts of our faith—all because we won’t face the music…we won’t tell the truth. Ask yourself, am I honest in my dealings? Am I a trustworthy student?  An honest taxpayer? Do you tell the truth—always?

Proverbs says, “The Lord hates a lying tongue.” (12:19)

Just tell the truth.

from: Just Like Jesus

Friday 3 May 2013

Practically Speaking


Words of Affirmation
"I put a note in his jacket pocket or inside his laptop, expressing how I feel about him and thanking him for everything he does for me. " ~Cindy

Acts of Service
"It is our habit to iron all clothes to use throughout the week on a Saturday evening. My wife does not enjoy ironing; so whenever I'm around, I ask her to bring all her clothes to wear through the week and I iron them together with mine." ~Medadi

Receiving Gifts
The gift of self can provide an intangible something that speaks even louder than a tangible gift. Being there for someone in a time of need, or maybe even a time of want, can very much count as a gift.

Quality Timw
"My wife has more than a full-time job being a stay-at-home mom, so to give her a break in her daily busy routine I've implemented Weekday Walks with Dad. So after greeting my wife when I get home, I greet my daughter and take her on a 30-45 minute walk around our condo complex. Not only does this allow me to decompress from my busy day at work, it also allows me to spend Quality Time with my daughter, and it's a small gift/act of service to my wife for all the sacrifice she makes for our family. Love is great!" ~Gregory

Physical Touch
"When my husband and I are sitting in church, I will spontaneously write on the back of his hand with my finger "I Love You". I always get a smile and a squeeze back and he knows that I am thinking of him out of the blue." ~Jennifer

Tell the Truth


Some of us could state our credo as, “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you squirm.”

Our dislike for the truth began at age three when mom walked in our rooms and asked, “Did you hit your little brother?” We knew then and there that honesty had its consequences.  “Did I hit baby brother?  Well, that all depends on how you interpret the word hit.”

We want our bosses to like us, so we flatter. God calls it a lie. We want people to admire us, so we exaggerate.  God calls it a lie.  We want people to respect us, so we live in houses we can’t afford and charge bills we can’t pay.  God calls it living a lie.

The cure for deceit is simply this: face the music. The ripple of today’s lie is tomorrow’s wave and next year’s flood.

Be just like Jesus.  Tell the truth!

from: Just Like Jesus

Thursday 2 May 2013

Deception is Never an Option


For the Christian, deception is never an option. It wasn’t an option for Jesus.

Isaiah 53:9 says, “He had done nothing wrong, and he had never lied.”  His every sentence true.  No cheating on tests. No altering the accounts.  Not once did Jesus stretch the truth.  He simply told the truth. No deceit was found in His mouth.  And if God has His way with us, none will be found in ours. He longs for us to be just like Jesus.

Proverbs 12:22 says, “The Lord hates those who tell lies but is pleased with those who keep their promises.”  Why the hard line?  Why the tough stance?  One reason is that dishonesty is absolutely contrary to the character of God.  God always speaks truth.  When He makes a covenant, He keeps it. When He proclaims the truth, we can believe it!  Because He cannot be false to Himself.

from: Just Like Jesus

Wednesday 1 May 2013

Nothing But the Truth


A woman stands before judge and jury, places one hand on the Bible and the other in the air, and makes a pledge.       

For the next few minutes, with God as her helper, she will “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”  She is a witness.  Her job is to tell the truth. Leave it to legal counsel to interpret. Leave it to the jury to resolve. Leave it to the judge to apply.  But the witness? The witness speaks the truth.

The Christian, too, is a witness.  We are called to tell the truth. The Bible is present, the watching world is the jury, and we are the primary witnesses. We are called to testify; to tell what we have seen and heard. Our task is not to whitewash or bloat the truth. Our task is to tell the truth.  Period.

From: Just Like Jesus

The Horror Movie That Will Never Be in Theaters

It could be called The Abominable Dr. Gosnell. Or perhaps Nightmare on Lancaster Avenue. Or maybe something as provocative as Scissors.
The plot might resemble a movie in the bloody Saw franchise. In the opening scene, a frightened teenage girl wanders into a dank, smelly clinic. Muted cries of women can be heard in a nearby room. Creepy violin music plays in the background.

A cat walks down a dark corridor, startling the girl. She sits down nervously on a sofa in the waiting room and sees a blood-stained blanket. The girl decides she doesn’t want an abortion—but when the doctor comes to take her to the procedure room, he gets angry when she protests. (Shouting is heard off-camera, followed by more of the Psycho-esque score.) The girl wakes up several hours later with severe cramps and realizes she has had an abortion.

This is not a clip from an Alfred Hitchcock film. The scene I described resembles what happened to a 15-year-old patient of Dr. Kermit Gosnell, the infamous Philadelphia abortionist whose trial ended Monday. Yes, there was a cat wandering in his clinic. (Observers testified that it had fleas.) Yes, there were bloodstained blankets in the waiting room. And witnesses testified that the girl was forced to have an abortion even though she decided not to go through with the procedure after arriving at Gosnell’s filthy office.

If that’s not enough R-rated horror for you, consider these facts: