Thursday 15 August 2013

God Wants to Kill You

It is amazing how often Jesus spoke of our need to die to our selfish nature:  “Pick up your cross . . . “ “Lay down your life . . . “ “If you lose your life for my sake, you’ll find it . . . “  He even gave us a simple parable about it:  “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”  Jesus taught that the one way we could guarantee we would be alone is to refuse to die to our selfish nature, but if we willingly set selfishness aside, we would experience new life.

God wants to kill you….. Not the physical you, but the selfish you.  Jesus taught us that if we don’t die to our selfish nature, we will never be able to experience all of the blessings that God wants to bestow on us.  Talk about a paradox!  Everyone wants to live, but Jesus taught us that the only way we can truly live is if we die.  Well, if there was ever an institution designed to kill the selfish you, it’s marriage.  In fact, it is virtually impossible to succeed ant marriage if you don’t learn how to let the selfish part of you die.

It is not unusual for me to hear a frustrated spouse cry out, “I feel like I’m dying!” “Yep,” I reply, “you probably are.”  The answer, however, is not to fight death to the self, but to embrace it.  Remember, Jesus said if the grain of wheat fails to die, it remains alone, and that is precisely what we have today: millions of married people who refuse to die to self and become one with their spouse.  The result is a state of profound loneliness. (Let me clarify that I am speaking of dying to selfishness.  I am not advocating that one should die emotionally or physically due to neglect or abuse.)

Wednesday 7 August 2013

The Dark Side of Wives Submitting to Husbands

Christian teaching on male headship is often used as a weapon against women. This abuse must be confronted.

During a past ministry trip to Hungary, I heard a painfully familiar story. Through a translator, a tearful young woman living near Budapest explained that her Christian husband was angrily demanding her absolute submission. This included, among other things, that she clean their house according to his strict standards and that she engage in sexual acts with him that made her feel uncomfortable and dirty.

This lady was not demanding her rights or trying to be disrespectful. She was a godly, humble woman who obviously wanted to please the Lord. But she had been beaten to a pulp emotionally, and she was receiving little help from her pastor—who was either unwilling or unprepared to confront wife abuse.

I've heard so many sickening versions of this scenario. In Kenya, several women told me their AIDS-infected husbands often raped them—and then their pastors told them they must submit to this treatment. In some parts of India, even some pastors believe it is acceptable to beat their wives if they argue with them or show any form of disrespect. And in some conservative churches in the United States, women are told that obedience to God is measured by their wifely submission—even if their husbands are addicted to alcohol or pornography or if they are involved in adulterous affairs.

Friday 2 August 2013

Practically Speaking

Words Of Affirmation
"We have a 5x7 picture in our bathroom on which we  write love notes to each other. Instead of a picture, we inserted a sheet of college ruled paper and use a dry erase marker to write on the glass. I love seeing what message he will leave for me each morning." ~Ivette

Acts Of Service
If you have a family that likes to watch sports together, make each game you watch a party. Serve up some appetizers, plan a half-time show of your own (if you have children get them involved too), and don't forget when you get up to get a drink or snack to offer the same to others as well.

Receiving Gifts
"My husband works at a gas station and a couple times he has brought me home a beverage from work. What I love most is the fact that he was thinking about me during the day." ~Anonymous

Quality Time
"My boyfriend and I are both Quality Timers. We are very busy and work opposite of each other often. About once every week or so he'll sit down and talk with me while I'm doing my make-up about what my day looks like like, etc. It's time he doesn't have to take, but he chooses to do so to have a few minutes with me." ~Lara

Physical Touch
"A simple back rub speaks more to me than a thousand words." ~Emily