Advice on Stepfamilies

Stepfamilies face many challenges. Taking a group of total strangers and throwing them together and expecting them to get along is chock full of problems. These stepfamilies are often called “blended families”, but there’s nothing blended about most of them. They tend to be more like two opposing armies lined up for battle than anything that can even remotely be referred to as “blended”.  Just ask most couples who have blended and families about their experience and you will probably hear the word “hell” in about 60 seconds.

My best advice to those who are considering remarriage with children from previous marriages: wait. Just hang on, trust God during this time and wait until the kids are grown—and even then it still isn’t a guarantee! Sometimes even adult children will have a difficult time with their parent’s remarriage situation. But generally those who wait until the kids are out of the house have much less trouble and way fewer problems.

If, however, you choose to go into the stepfamily situation, know that it’s going to be a very rough road to travel.  You will have to deal with each other’s children, the ex-spouses, the multiple sets of grandparents, complicated holiday and summer schedules, etc.  Again, in my opinion the best thing you can do is to wait until the kids are all out of the house and then move on to a new relationship.

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