Recently I was asked the question: Do you believe it is possible to fall out of love with your spouse—or were you just never in love in the first place? Sorry to disillusion all of you over-romanticized thinkers out there, but my reply is not the stuff of romance novels or movie and TV land. I know that people say they “fall in love”—sometimes even at “first sight”. I’ve heard the scientific studies about what happens to your body and your brain when you “fall in love”. I see the way the media portrays “falling in love” as this wonderful buzz of emotions that you feel when you’ve met just the “the right one”. But truthfully, I don’t think one “falls in love”.
One can fall in the toilet or in a ditch or off a ladder. You can even fall on your face…but you do not fall in love. What are people really talking about when they use the phrase anyway? I think what they’re referring to is the failed notion of love being what you feel. That sensation that is some combination of lust, infatuation and the flurry of passionate emotions you experience in a new relationship. Quite simply, what they call “falling in love” is the buzz you feel.
Funny thing is, the Bible never talks about “falling in love”. When scripture talks about love, not once does it mention feelings. People ask me, “Well, didn’t you fall in love with your wife?” I love my wife, because I choose to love her. Sure I had some euphoric type feelings way back ages ago when we first met. I’m sure I got the buzz, but if “falling in love” is merely about the buzz you feel when you are around another person, then I’ve fallen in love with many people!
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