The Love Language of Gift Giving

Gift Giving is Universal
As a student of Anthropology I have studied the advanced cultures of the Mayans and the Aztecs. I have studied the tribal peoples of Melanesia and Polynesia; the Eskimos of the northern tundra and the aboriginal Ainus of Japan. I discovered that in every culture gift giving was a part of the love-marriage process.

The attitude of love is always accompanied with the concept of giving. Gifts are visual symbols of love. From early years, children are inclined to give gifts to their parents. What mother has not received a dandelion from a child? So, let me ask you a personal question. When is the last time you gave a gift to someone you love?

The Loudest Expression
For some people, the loudest expression of love is a gift. Gifts come in all sizes, colors, and shapes. Some are expensive, and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost of the gift will matter little. If finances are limited, a dollar gift may speak a million dollars worth of love.

Gifts may be purchased, found, or made. The husband who picks a wild-flower has found himself an expression of love, unless, of course, his wife is allergic to flowers. If you can afford it, you can purchase a beautiful card for less than five dollars. Or, you can make one for free. Get the paper out of the trash can where you work. Gifts need not be expensive. It's the thought that counts.

The Secret Ingredient
man told me recently that he had read my book the five love languages and discovered that his wife's primary love language was receiving gifts. He realized that he had not given her a gift in five years except at Christmas. So, he decided to give her a gift every day for a week and see what would happen.

He was shocked to see that every day her smile got broader. By the end of the week she was laughing and hugging him. So, he tried it a second week. "What has happened to you," she asked? "I've been reading a book," he said. "I want that book," his wife said. "She read the book and discovered that my love language is words of affirmation. It has totally transformed our marriage," he said. Such stories are music to an author's ears.


Adapted from The 5 Love Languages® by Dr. Gary Chapman. Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook at facebook.com/5lovelanguages