When Your Adult Child Struggles

With Depression
Depression is the most common hurdle faced by young adults. Symptoms include feelings of helplessness, despondency, and despair; problems with sleep either too much or too little); problems with eating - too much or too little; and lack of energy. This in turn will affect the young adult's performance and may result in flunking out of college or being fired from a job.

Often when they reach this point the young adult will turn to parents for help. May I encourage you, don't try to help them alone. Insist that they see a counselor, medical doctor, or a pastor. Let them know that if they want to talk, you want to listen. Look for life-threatening symptoms such as suicidal talk or actions. Inform the counselor of such talk or actions. Invite them to do things with you. And pray for them daily.


What you don't want to do is tell them that they have nothing to be depressed about. Don't tell them to snap out of it. Don't tell them that the problem is spiritual. Don't tell them that the problem stems from their past failures. With proper help your friend or family member can work through depression and be able to move toward independence.

With Anger Issues
One of the most common problems for adolescents and young adults is passive-aggressive anger. This person has a subconscious motivation to do exactly the opposite of what one is supposed to do. Typically this behavior is designed to get back at a parent or other authority figure, at whom the individual is angry. The tragedy is that their behavior hurts them more than the other person. It is an immature way of handling anger.

If your child's behavior is illogical, rebellious, and self-destructive it may well be coming from internalized anger. The answer lies not in condemning their behavior, but in dealing with their anger. Someone must hear the pain and help the child find a better way to deal with anger.

With Substance Abuse
Alcohol and drug-related problems have become the downfall of many adolescents and young adults. Parents are frustrated and often do not know what to do. Here are three specific ways you can help if you suspect that your child has a drug problem.

1. Pray and ask God for wisdom. He can and will guide you in finding the help you need.
2. Seek counsel from a qualified person on what steps you should take. Don't try to solve the problem on your own.
3. Practice "tough love". Tough love means letting you child suffer the consequences of their drug and alcohol abuse.

This is the fastest way for your child to become willing to go for treatment. Be kind, but firm in refusing to bail them out.


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