Intimacy Grows Marriages

The Language of Friendship
A number of years ago, I started the single adult ministry at my church. Do you know the most common complaint of singles: "I am so lonely." There is something about the way we are made that cries out for intimacy with another. It is not normal for a person to live in isolation. When God looked at Adam, He said, "It is not good for man to be alone." The word 'alone' literally means 'cut off' or 'isolated'. God's answer to Adam's aloneness was the creation of Eve and the institution of marriage.

That does not mean that a person must be married to find happiness. It does mean that we need people. Intimacy is the word used to describe a close relationship. Intimacy is also one of our deepest emotional needs. It is the language of friendship.



Don't Drift
Intimacy is at the very heart of a growing marriage. I believe that God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships. We share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The Bible says that we share life to such a degree that we actually become 'one flesh'. That does not mean that we lose our individuality, but it does mean that we share life deeply.

My observation is that couples who learn how to do that, find marriage extremely satisfying. Those who do not build intimacy may find marriage very empty. What are you doing to build intimacy in your marriage? Don't waste time waiting for your spouse. Take the initiative; ask a question, share a thought. Without intimacy you drift into isolation and loneliness.

Making It Happen
Would you like to have an intimate marriage? Then make time to talk and listen. Plan a daily 'sharing time' with your spouse. Couples who have a 'sit down and talk time' each day have a higher level of intimacy than those couples who talk 'whenever and wherever.' Isn't that also true in our relationship with God?

If you have a daily quiet time with God in which you listen to Him as He speaks through the Scriptures and then, you talk to Him about what you have heard, your intimacy with God will grow. The same is true with your spouse. You schedule time for lunch. Why not schedule time for daily conversation? Communication leads to intimacy and intimacy leads to a growing marriage.


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