Talking Like the Animals

Recently I have been working on a premarital counseling course for our friends in Malaysia. While doing the section on communication, I came up with the idea of using animals as pictures of human communication.

Take a look at these and see if you can identify yourself or your spouse. Note, too, that we sometimes act like different animals in different situations. Puppies can become clams if they are intimidated.

Have fun with the animals, and no fighting or self-condemnation, please.

Clam

Hardly ever speaks, and doesn't seem to listen, either. People who know them wish they would open up, and some even try to force them open. That never works.

Puppy

Happy, energetic, but sometimes can't stop yapping. Particularly irritating late at night.

Tiger

Lots of growling. Listens quietly, but always waiting for the opportunity to strike. Makes other people feel it's only a matter of time until they will . . . be . . . eaten.

Goat

“But! But!” Always finds an exception for every statement. People tire of trying to communicate because they get tired of being “butted.” Most common in overly analytical thinkers. Tendency to frequently interrupt.

Mouse

Squeaky little statements. Too quiet too much of the time. Self-protection is of greatest importance. Found mostly in women, but when seen in a man is particularly sad. Especially intimidated by tigers . . . but then, who isn't?

Beaver

Ever heard the expression “Busy as a Beaver?” That's the picture. Always too busy to talk. Always another tree to chomp through; always another stream to dam up.

Think About It

1. Which animal best describes your most common communication style? What about your spouse? (You can combine animals to describe yourself if necessary, for instance, “Beaver-Tiger,” or “Clam-Goat.”

Man:

Woman:

2. Do you sometimes take on another style? In what situations do you take on that other style?

3. Looking at your styles of communication, what special problems do you think they cause in your marriage?

Training the Animals

All of us have natural communication styles, but sometimes those styles are not the best for our marriages. God's Spirit in us can open the clam, calm the puppy, tame the tiger, civilize the goat, make the mouse more confident, and slow that beaver down. You really need to let him do it. Then you'll find your blend, a blend that will keep your communication open all your marriage.

Don't be afraid to change when it is God who is bringing the change. His changes are always for our best. “It is God who is working in you, both to will and to do what pleases him.” — Phil. 2:13

"Tame us, train us, Father I pray. Help us to allow you to make us better, more effective communicators."