Wednesday 7 October 2009

Two Types of Anger

When is the last time you felt angry? How did you handle your anger? All of us have seen people explode. Many of us have exploded. On the other hand, many Christians pride themselves in holding their anger inside. But internalized anger is bad for your health.

The biblical challenge is that when we experience anger, we are to process it in a positive way. That may mean gently confronting the person who stimulated our anger. Or it may mean asking God to forgive us for being so 'bent out of shape' over such a minor matter. Learning to process anger in a timely and healthy way is one of the first lessons for healthy relationships.

Why do people get angry? I believe we get angry when our sense of 'right' is violated. But we have two kinds of anger:

* Definitive anger: When someone has wronged us.
* Distorted anger: When things didn't go our way.


Much of our anger is distorted. The traffic moved too slowly. Our spouse didn't do what we wanted.

This distorted anger is still very intense and must be processed. Here's a question: Would it be helpful if I shared my anger with someone? In sharing it, might I improve things for everyone? Or, should I simply let it go? Whatever you do, do something positive. Don't hold anger inside. Anger was meant to be a visitor, never a resident.



Adapted from Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

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