Love is Practical

by Dr. Gary Chapman

God's Expectation

"Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it." I, for one, am fully willing to admit that apart from the work of Christ and the ministry of the Holy Spirit in my life I am not likely to be that kind of husband. I am in fact, self-centered and often selfish.

However, there is no question that this is God's expectation of me and all husbands. As Christians we must not accept the cultural norm as our standard. Rather, we must recognize that in Christ we have the ability to transcend the pull of selfishness and truly become lovers. Few wives will run away from a husband who is loving as Christ loved.

Contract, Criticism, and Covenant

Many people view marriage as a contract. "I'll do this if you will do that." With enough criticism your spouse may do what you want, but it will not be an expression of love. True love is a choice and cannot be coerced. Criticism and demands tend to drive wedges. Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love.

If we decide to love, then we need to view marriage differently. The Bible paints for us a better picture of how we are to love and commit ourselves to one another. It views marriage as a covenant, not a contract. Covenants might include such affirmations as: 

1. I will look out for your well-being no matter how you treat me.
2. I view our marriage as a permanent relationship.
3. I will not walk out on you.
4. Because I love you, I will confront you when I see you doing things that I believe are harmful.
5. I will speak the truth in love.
6. When you confess wrong doing, I will forgive you and never hold it against you in the future.
7. I am committed to helping you accomplish God's will for your life.
8. You can count on my support. 

Where does one get the heart and the power to live out such a covenant? I know of only one source - God. He is a covenant keeping God and will help you keep your covenant.

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