The Question
I recently got married, but have been on my own for many years. How do we build a life together? How do I submit to my spouse's decisions after making my own decisions for so long?
The Answer
In this question, you have hit upon one of the big differences between being married and being single. As a single, you do what you want to do when you want to do it. As a married, that is impossible. Why? Because "two have become one". It is no longer "your business" and "my business", but rather "our business." Now you must consider how your actions will affect your spouse. Now you are ready to learn what the Biblical concept of love is all about. Love is looking out for the other person's interest.
This doesn't mean that you must spend every waking hour together, but it does mean that you must keep each other informed. You are now a team, and team members must work together. It is not a matter of one making all the decisions. Rather, it is making decisions together so that each of you feels good about what is happening. If all of this seems costly to your independence, you are correct. Intimacy and independence are mutually exclusive..
I recently got married, but have been on my own for many years. How do we build a life together? How do I submit to my spouse's decisions after making my own decisions for so long?
The Answer
In this question, you have hit upon one of the big differences between being married and being single. As a single, you do what you want to do when you want to do it. As a married, that is impossible. Why? Because "two have become one". It is no longer "your business" and "my business", but rather "our business." Now you must consider how your actions will affect your spouse. Now you are ready to learn what the Biblical concept of love is all about. Love is looking out for the other person's interest.
This doesn't mean that you must spend every waking hour together, but it does mean that you must keep each other informed. You are now a team, and team members must work together. It is not a matter of one making all the decisions. Rather, it is making decisions together so that each of you feels good about what is happening. If all of this seems costly to your independence, you are correct. Intimacy and independence are mutually exclusive..
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