Selfishness is the greatest barrier to intimacy, and we are all infected with the disease. By nature we all believe that our way is the best way. There is only one right way to load a dishwasher and that's my way. One wife said: "My husband's idea of communication is 'Sit down and let me tell you how things are going to be.'" I'm always wrong. He is always right. How can you communicate with a person like that?
There are two ways to respond to such a spouse:
Loving confrontation: "Darling, I love you very much and I want to believe that you love me, but I don't feel very loved when you speak to me like I'm a child and you are God. That you always know what is best and my ideas don't count. Do you understand what I'm saying?" This is the road of loving confrontation.
Modeling love: "Darling, more than anything I want to be the spouse that God wants me to be. I want to meet your needs and I want to encourage you to reach your potential for God. How may I help you most?" You are modeling the unselfish, unconditional love of God. Nothing is more powerful than a Godly model.
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