by Max Lucado
When Jesus came down from the hill, great crowds followed him. Then a man with a skin disease came to Jesus. The man bowed down before him and said, “Lord, you can heal me if you will.”
Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man and said, “I will. Be healed!” And immediately the man was healed from his disease.
Matthew 8:1-3
I wonder… about the man who felt Jesus’ compassionate touch. He makes one appearance, has one request, and receives one touch. But that one touch changed his life forever….
I wonder about this man because in New Testament times leprosy was the most dreaded disease. The condition rendered the body a mass of ulcers and decay. Fingers would curl and gnarl. Blotches of skin would discolor and stink. Certain types of leprosy would numb nerve endings, leading to a loss of fingers, toes, even a whole foot or hand. Leprosy was death by inches.
The social consequences were as severe as the physical. Considered contagious, the leper was quarantined, banished to a leper colony.
In Scripture the leper is symbolic of the ultimate outcast: infected by a condition he did not seek, rejected by those he knew, avoided by people he did not know, condemned to a future he could not bear…
The touch did not heal the disease, you know. Matthew is careful to mention that it was the pronouncement and not the touch of Christ that cured the condition. “Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man and said, ‘I will. Be healed!’ And immediately the man was healed from his disease” (Matt. 8:3).
The infection was banished by a word from Jesus.
The loneliness, however, was treated by a touch from Jesus.
Jesus touched the untouchables of the world.
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
Monday, 28 September 2009
Teaching Children Obedience
It's 4:30 in the afternoon when I am saying to my 10 year old son. "I'm sorry, Son, but you cannot ride your bicycle this afternoon. You know the rule. The bicycle is to be placed in the storage shed every night. If you leave it out, then you do not get to ride the following day. Last night you left it out all night; therefore, you cannot ride the bike this afternoon."
Am I being harsh to my son? No, I'm loving my son. Life is filled with rules and when we break them, we suffer the consequences. It is a lesson if learned early that may keep him from greater pain as an adult. "Children obey your parents, in the Lord for this is right." It is a fundamental principle of parenting. Make wise rules and have logical consequences. Be loving but consistent, and your children will be the benefactors.
Every society has rules. In a healthy society, rules are designed for the benefit of the whole and everyone reaps the benefits.
The same principles are true in family life. Mom and Dad have the responsibility to decide rules that are for the benefit of the children. Good rules which are lovingly enforced teach children obedience. Bad rules that are harshly enforced create angry children. Perhaps its time to evaluate your rules, and the manner in which you enforce them.
Are you having trouble teaching your child obedience? Stay tuned for next week's "A Love Language Minute."
Adapted from The Family You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Am I being harsh to my son? No, I'm loving my son. Life is filled with rules and when we break them, we suffer the consequences. It is a lesson if learned early that may keep him from greater pain as an adult. "Children obey your parents, in the Lord for this is right." It is a fundamental principle of parenting. Make wise rules and have logical consequences. Be loving but consistent, and your children will be the benefactors.
Every society has rules. In a healthy society, rules are designed for the benefit of the whole and everyone reaps the benefits.
The same principles are true in family life. Mom and Dad have the responsibility to decide rules that are for the benefit of the children. Good rules which are lovingly enforced teach children obedience. Bad rules that are harshly enforced create angry children. Perhaps its time to evaluate your rules, and the manner in which you enforce them.
Are you having trouble teaching your child obedience? Stay tuned for next week's "A Love Language Minute."
Adapted from The Family You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Sunday, 27 September 2009
God Is Our Comfort
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." - Psalm 23:4
Even in a relatively peaceful and prosperous land like Malaysia, there are many things to worry about these days whether it be our health, our children (or grandchildren), our finances, our safety, our country's political/racial problem, our government's mismanagement of the country's resources etc. All too often, many of our decisions are based on our fears and uncertainty of how things will turn out. God's promises is however that even when our situation becomes really bad, even in our darkest moments, He is there walking beside us.
In our of his devotional articles, Rick Warren observes that there are 365 verses in the Bible that says, "Fear not." God provided us with one 'fear not' message for every day of the year! Don't you think God is saying, "Listen to Me. Don't be afraid." It's interesting that almost every time God talks directly to someone in the Bible, the first thing He says is, "Don't be afraid!" Why is this so? It's because our pain and problems can lead us to think that God is out to punish or condemn us. But this is simply not the case and Jesus is proof of that. Our own fear of pain, sickness, hardship or poverty is definitely not from God.
After we understand God's grace and mercy, we have no need to fear the future. God is never trying to punish you for something you did or did not do. Jesus has taken the penalty for everything you've ever done or will do wrong. He paid for it on the cross. So when a bad thing happens, you don't have to think, "God is punishing me." Instead, remember this verse (from the New Living Translation Bible) "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."
In the Spirit Filled Life Bible, Paul McGuire explains that the word 'comfort', or 'nacham' in Hebrew means: to comfort, console, extend compassion, sigh with one who is grieving or to repent. Nacham originally may have meant "to breathe intensely because of deep emotion." David wrote that God's rod and staff comforted him. David was not saying that God was just going to give him "a little pat on the hand" like one might do with a frightened child with a promise that everything would turn out okay, but that God was going to experience his suffering with him and embrace him at the deepest level.
In some references nacham is translated "repent", the idea being that regret causes deep sighing. In it's sense of comfort, nacham does not describe casual sympathy , but rather is actually "weeping with those who weep," or "sighing with those who sigh". This should convey a sense of our God being deeply personal and involved with our pain, fear, difficulties and sorrows. Therefore the peace and comfort that He brings to us when we open our hearts to Him is deep and personal. It is entirely unlike the comfort of the world that is often tied to material gain, money or medication.
4 OCTOBER 2009 - communion
CM: Dr. Siow KW
WL: Foong Yee
BU: Tian Sia, Hong Lu, Gigi Lim
P: Jason Lai
S: Jocelyn Lee
G: Darren Oi
D: Kenneth Lai
LCD: Lee Siew Pin, Timothy Chang
PA: Manjit Singh, Hiew FF
-
WL: Foong Yee
BU: Tian Sia, Hong Lu, Gigi Lim
P: Jason Lai
S: Jocelyn Lee
G: Darren Oi
D: Kenneth Lai
LCD: Lee Siew Pin, Timothy Chang
PA: Manjit Singh, Hiew FF
-
11 Oct:
CM: Barnabas P.
WL: Kai Yew
BU: Jason Lai, Jacquelina, Lareina
P: Chris Lai
S: Jocelyn Lee
G: Darren Oi
D: Jaemy C.
LCD: Lee Siew Pin, Timothy Chang
PA: Tommy Q., Manjit Singh
Friday, 25 September 2009
Help! I Don't Know My Love Language!: Part 2 of 2
Last week we discussed two ways to discover your love language, (1) observe your own behavior, and (2) observe what you request of others. Today we'll cover three more ways.
3. Listen to Your Complaints
The things about which you complain (whether expressed verbally or only in your head) can be very telling in figuring out your primary love language.
If you complain that your friends no longer have time for you, your love language is likely quality time. If you complain that only one friend gave you a birthday present, your language is likely gifts. If you complain about not having a good hug in the last two months, physical touch is probably your language. If your complaint is that no one ever helps you and they expect you to do everything, then acts of service is probably your love language.
Our complaints reveal our deep emotional hurts. The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language. If you received love in that language, the hurt would go away and you would feel appreciated.
4. Ask the Right Questions
If you are currently in a dating relationship, you've got a great opportunity to discover your primary love language. Ask and answer the following questions: "What do I like most about the person I'm dating? What does he or she do or say that makes me desire to be with him/her?" Your answers will be very enlightening.
Another approach would be to ask yourself: "What would be an ideal spouse to me? If I could have the perfect mate, what would she/he be like?" Your picture of a perfect mate should give you some idea of your primary love language.
If you are not currently in a romantic relationship, you may ask: "What do I want most in a friendship?" Complete the following sentence: "An ideal friend would ________." Your answer will probably reveal your primary love language.
5. The Love Language Profile
The final step in discovering (or confirming) your love language is taking the Five Love Languages Profile. The profile is located within The Five Languages: Singles Edition book, as well as the original The Five Love Languages. And don't forget to check out the study guide, too--it will help you develop your love language.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
3. Listen to Your Complaints
The things about which you complain (whether expressed verbally or only in your head) can be very telling in figuring out your primary love language.
If you complain that your friends no longer have time for you, your love language is likely quality time. If you complain that only one friend gave you a birthday present, your language is likely gifts. If you complain about not having a good hug in the last two months, physical touch is probably your language. If your complaint is that no one ever helps you and they expect you to do everything, then acts of service is probably your love language.
Our complaints reveal our deep emotional hurts. The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language. If you received love in that language, the hurt would go away and you would feel appreciated.
4. Ask the Right Questions
If you are currently in a dating relationship, you've got a great opportunity to discover your primary love language. Ask and answer the following questions: "What do I like most about the person I'm dating? What does he or she do or say that makes me desire to be with him/her?" Your answers will be very enlightening.
Another approach would be to ask yourself: "What would be an ideal spouse to me? If I could have the perfect mate, what would she/he be like?" Your picture of a perfect mate should give you some idea of your primary love language.
If you are not currently in a romantic relationship, you may ask: "What do I want most in a friendship?" Complete the following sentence: "An ideal friend would ________." Your answer will probably reveal your primary love language.
5. The Love Language Profile
The final step in discovering (or confirming) your love language is taking the Five Love Languages Profile. The profile is located within The Five Languages: Singles Edition book, as well as the original The Five Love Languages. And don't forget to check out the study guide, too--it will help you develop your love language.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Jesus Heals a Blind Man
by Max Lucado
“As [Jesus] passed by, He saw a man blind from birth” (John 9:1).
This man has never seen a sunrise. Can’t tell purple from pink. The disciples fault the family tree. “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” (v. 2).
Neither, the God-man replies. Trace this condition back to heaven. The reason the man was born sightless? So “the works of God might be displayed in him” (v. 3).
Talk about a thankless role. Selected to suffer. Some sing to God’s glory. Others teach to God’s glory. Who wants to be blind for God’s glory? Which is tougher—the condition or discovering it was God’s idea?
The cure proves to be as surprising as the cause. “[Jesus] spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes” (v. 6).
The world abounds with paintings of the God-man: in the arms of Mary, in the Garden of Gethsemane, in the Upper Room, in the darkened tomb. Jesus touching. Jesus weeping, laughing, teaching … but I’ve never seen a painting of Jesus spitting.
Christ smacking his lips a time or two, gathering a mouth of saliva, working up a blob of drool, and letting it go. Down in the dirt. (Kids, next time your mother tells you not to spit, show her this passage.) Then he squats, stirs up a puddle of … I don’t know, what would you call it?
Holy putty? Spit therapy? Saliva solution? Whatever the name, he places a fingerful in his palm, and then, as calmly as a painter spackles a hole in the wall, Jesus streaks mud-miracle on the blind man’s eyes. “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (v. 7).
The beggar feels his way to the pool, splashes water on his mud-streaked face, and rubs away the clay. The result is the first chapter of Genesis, just for him. Light where there was darkness. Virgin eyes focus, fuzzy figures become human beings, and John receives the Understatement of the Bible Award when he writes: “He … came back seeing” (v. 7).
Come on, John! Running short of verbs? How about “he raced back seeing”? “He danced back seeing”? “He roared back whooping and hollering.”
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
“As [Jesus] passed by, He saw a man blind from birth” (John 9:1).
This man has never seen a sunrise. Can’t tell purple from pink. The disciples fault the family tree. “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” (v. 2).
Neither, the God-man replies. Trace this condition back to heaven. The reason the man was born sightless? So “the works of God might be displayed in him” (v. 3).
Talk about a thankless role. Selected to suffer. Some sing to God’s glory. Others teach to God’s glory. Who wants to be blind for God’s glory? Which is tougher—the condition or discovering it was God’s idea?
The cure proves to be as surprising as the cause. “[Jesus] spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes” (v. 6).
The world abounds with paintings of the God-man: in the arms of Mary, in the Garden of Gethsemane, in the Upper Room, in the darkened tomb. Jesus touching. Jesus weeping, laughing, teaching … but I’ve never seen a painting of Jesus spitting.
Christ smacking his lips a time or two, gathering a mouth of saliva, working up a blob of drool, and letting it go. Down in the dirt. (Kids, next time your mother tells you not to spit, show her this passage.) Then he squats, stirs up a puddle of … I don’t know, what would you call it?
Holy putty? Spit therapy? Saliva solution? Whatever the name, he places a fingerful in his palm, and then, as calmly as a painter spackles a hole in the wall, Jesus streaks mud-miracle on the blind man’s eyes. “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (v. 7).
The beggar feels his way to the pool, splashes water on his mud-streaked face, and rubs away the clay. The result is the first chapter of Genesis, just for him. Light where there was darkness. Virgin eyes focus, fuzzy figures become human beings, and John receives the Understatement of the Bible Award when he writes: “He … came back seeing” (v. 7).
Come on, John! Running short of verbs? How about “he raced back seeing”? “He danced back seeing”? “He roared back whooping and hollering.”
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Help! I Don't Know My Love Language!
If you don’t already know your love language, don’t be alarmed. You’re not alone. There are two types of people who typically struggle to discover their primary love language.
The first consists of those who have always felt loved and who received all five love languages from their parents. They speak all five rather fluently, but they’re not sure which one speaks most deeply to them. The other category is composed of those who have never felt loved. They grew up in very dysfunctional families and were never secure in the love of parents or other significant adults in their lives. They don’t know which language would make them feel loved because they are not really sure what it means to feel loved.
1. Observe Your Own Behavior
So how do you discover your primary love language? Probably it would be best to start with you. How do you most typically express love and appreciation to other people? If you regularly hear yourself encouraging other people by giving words of affirmation, then perhaps that is your primary love language. You are doing for others what you wish they would do for you. If you are a back-patter, hand-shaker, or arm-toucher, then perhaps your love language is physical touch. And so on, for gifts, quality time, and acts of service.
Please notice that I am using the words perhaps, maybe, and likely. The reason I am being tentative is because my research has indicated that about 25 percent of adults typically speak one love language but wish to receive another language. On the other hand, for about 75 percent of us, the language we speak most often is the language we desire. We love others in the manner in which we would like to be loved.
2. Observe What You Request of Others
If you regularly ask friends to help you with projects, then acts of service may be your love language. If you find yourself saying to friends who are going on a trip, “Be sure and bring me something,” then your love language is probably receiving gifts. If you ask a close friend to give you a back rub, or you express rather freely, “Could you give me a hug?” then physical touch is likely your primary love language.
If you are regularly asking friends to go shopping with you, to take a trip together, or to come over to your house for dinner, you are asking for quality time. If you hear yourself asking, “Does this look OK? Did I do the report the way you wanted it? Do you think I did the right thing?” you are asking for words of affirmation.
Our requests tend to indicate our emotional needs. Therefore, observing what you request of others may clearly reveal your primary love language.
Next week we'll discover three more ways to discover your primary love language.
What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
The first consists of those who have always felt loved and who received all five love languages from their parents. They speak all five rather fluently, but they’re not sure which one speaks most deeply to them. The other category is composed of those who have never felt loved. They grew up in very dysfunctional families and were never secure in the love of parents or other significant adults in their lives. They don’t know which language would make them feel loved because they are not really sure what it means to feel loved.
1. Observe Your Own Behavior
So how do you discover your primary love language? Probably it would be best to start with you. How do you most typically express love and appreciation to other people? If you regularly hear yourself encouraging other people by giving words of affirmation, then perhaps that is your primary love language. You are doing for others what you wish they would do for you. If you are a back-patter, hand-shaker, or arm-toucher, then perhaps your love language is physical touch. And so on, for gifts, quality time, and acts of service.
Please notice that I am using the words perhaps, maybe, and likely. The reason I am being tentative is because my research has indicated that about 25 percent of adults typically speak one love language but wish to receive another language. On the other hand, for about 75 percent of us, the language we speak most often is the language we desire. We love others in the manner in which we would like to be loved.
2. Observe What You Request of Others
If you regularly ask friends to help you with projects, then acts of service may be your love language. If you find yourself saying to friends who are going on a trip, “Be sure and bring me something,” then your love language is probably receiving gifts. If you ask a close friend to give you a back rub, or you express rather freely, “Could you give me a hug?” then physical touch is likely your primary love language.
If you are regularly asking friends to go shopping with you, to take a trip together, or to come over to your house for dinner, you are asking for quality time. If you hear yourself asking, “Does this look OK? Did I do the report the way you wanted it? Do you think I did the right thing?” you are asking for words of affirmation.
Our requests tend to indicate our emotional needs. Therefore, observing what you request of others may clearly reveal your primary love language.
Next week we'll discover three more ways to discover your primary love language.
What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Monday, 21 September 2009
He Did It Just For You
by Max Lucado
When God entered time and became a man, he who was boundless became bound. Imprisoned in flesh. Restricted by weary-prone muscles and eyelids. For more than three decades, his once limitless reach would be limited to the stretch of an arm, his speed checked to the pace of human feet.
I wonder, was he ever tempted to reclaim his boundlessness? In the middle of a long trip, did he ever consider transporting himself to the next city? When the rain chilled his bones, was he tempted to change the weather? When the heat parched his lips, did he give thought to popping over to the Caribbean for some refreshment?
If ever he entertained such thoughts, he never gave in to them. Not once. Stop and think about this. Not once did Christ use his supernatural powers for personal comfort. With one word he could’ve transformed the hard earth into a soft bed, but he didn’t. With a wave of his hand, he could’ve boomeranged the spit of his accusers back into their faces, but he didn’t. With an arch of his brow, he could’ve paralyzed the hand of the soldier as he braided the crown of thorns. But he didn’t.
Want to know the coolest thing about the coming?
Not that he, in an instant, went from needing nothing to needing air, food, a tub of hot water and salts for his tired feet, and, more than anything, needing somebody—anybody—who was more concerned about where he would spend eternity than where he would spend Friday’s paycheck.
Not that he kept his cool while the dozen best friends he ever had felt the heat and got out of the kitchen. Or that he gave no command to the angels who begged, “Just give the nod, Lord. One word and these demons will be deviled eggs.”
Not that he refused to defend himself when blamed for every sin since Adam. Or that he stood silent as a million guilty verdicts echoed in the tribunal of heaven and the giver of light was left in the chill of a sinner’s night.
Not even that after three days in a dark hole he stepped into the Easter sunrise with a smile and a swagger and a question for lowly Lucifer—“Is that your best punch?”
That was cool, incredibly cool.
But want to know the coolest thing about the One who gave up the crown of heaven for a crown of thorns?
He did it for you. Just for you.
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
When God entered time and became a man, he who was boundless became bound. Imprisoned in flesh. Restricted by weary-prone muscles and eyelids. For more than three decades, his once limitless reach would be limited to the stretch of an arm, his speed checked to the pace of human feet.
I wonder, was he ever tempted to reclaim his boundlessness? In the middle of a long trip, did he ever consider transporting himself to the next city? When the rain chilled his bones, was he tempted to change the weather? When the heat parched his lips, did he give thought to popping over to the Caribbean for some refreshment?
If ever he entertained such thoughts, he never gave in to them. Not once. Stop and think about this. Not once did Christ use his supernatural powers for personal comfort. With one word he could’ve transformed the hard earth into a soft bed, but he didn’t. With a wave of his hand, he could’ve boomeranged the spit of his accusers back into their faces, but he didn’t. With an arch of his brow, he could’ve paralyzed the hand of the soldier as he braided the crown of thorns. But he didn’t.
Want to know the coolest thing about the coming?
Not that he, in an instant, went from needing nothing to needing air, food, a tub of hot water and salts for his tired feet, and, more than anything, needing somebody—anybody—who was more concerned about where he would spend eternity than where he would spend Friday’s paycheck.
Not that he kept his cool while the dozen best friends he ever had felt the heat and got out of the kitchen. Or that he gave no command to the angels who begged, “Just give the nod, Lord. One word and these demons will be deviled eggs.”
Not that he refused to defend himself when blamed for every sin since Adam. Or that he stood silent as a million guilty verdicts echoed in the tribunal of heaven and the giver of light was left in the chill of a sinner’s night.
Not even that after three days in a dark hole he stepped into the Easter sunrise with a smile and a swagger and a question for lowly Lucifer—“Is that your best punch?”
That was cool, incredibly cool.
But want to know the coolest thing about the One who gave up the crown of heaven for a crown of thorns?
He did it for you. Just for you.
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
Sunday, 20 September 2009
When Life Sometimes Seem So Hard, There Is Hope
"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..." - Psalm 23:6.
There are times when a really terrible crisis comes into the lives of faithful believers and followers of our Lord Jesus Christ. Recently I have been praying for dear friends who, as a couple, have sacrificed much to serve God in a small town set in a sort of spiritual wilderness. As they struggle with this crisis, they are hurting so badly that they do not even want to talk about their pain with many of the people of God has placed around them and I am sure they have reasons for this.
They probably might insist they know the Bible verses already and prefer that we do not burden them further by reminding them or trying to teach them stuff they have known for decades. Even if this is so, I am convinced that there is only good when we listen to God's Word again for it can refresh itself in our hearts. Even in the middle of our pain, God is watching over us.
"Surely your goodness ... will pursue me" - King David is not saying 'surely only good things will happen to me' because he knew as well as anyone else that bad things happen to good people. This is something even all of us here in Seremban know about or have experienced ourselves. I believe not a few of you in our congregation here in WFA have endured some deep personal pain or loss.
Actually, David's main point is that God's goodness will surely follow after him. No matter how painful, evil, difficult or bad something seems, God can always work it out for good - and in these circumstances He often gives us a vital role to play in how things turn out. The Bible uses other persons like Job, Ruth and Esther to reinforce the fact of God's promise for the good of His people.
Another one of God's wonderful promises He has given to everyone of us is that we know everything that happens to us is working for our good - if we love God and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). If you are a believer, the Bible says all things work together for good - not that all things are good - but that all the things happening around us work together for good. By this, we know that God is always in control and that He loves us, and desires that all things happen for our good.
There will never be any hardship, sickness, pain, dilemma, loss or disaster in the life of a believer that God cannot ultimately turn toward His good purpose. We only need to look to Jesus, trust Him in our hears and stand firm on His promises. When we go through a personal crisis, we also often need to reach out to others or let our brethren reach out to us with God's love for God Himself lives in the hearts of His people.
27 SEPTEMBER 2009
CM: Tom C.
WL: Terry C.
BU: Timothy C, Siew Pin, Peggy Tan
P: Chris Lai
S: Lydia Sim
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Nicholas
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Hiew FF, Tommy Q.
-
WL: Terry C.
BU: Timothy C, Siew Pin, Peggy Tan
P: Chris Lai
S: Lydia Sim
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Nicholas
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Hiew FF, Tommy Q.
-
4 Oct:
CM: Dr. Siow KW
WL: Foong Yee
BU: Tian Sia, Hong Lu, Gigi Lim
P: Jason Lai
S: Jocelyn Lee
G: Darren Oi
D: Kenneth Lai
LCD: Lee Siew Pin, Timothy Chang
PA: Manjit Singh, Hiew FF
Saturday, 19 September 2009
6 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged
Possible proposal? Here are six questions you should ask before popping the question.
1. Are my partner and I on the same wavelength intellectually? Try one of these exercises: Read a newspaper or online news article and discuss its merits and implications; read a book and share your impressions with each other.
2. To what degree have we surveyed the foundation of our social unity? Explore the following areas: sports, music, dance, parties, and vocational aspirations.
3. Do we have a clear understanding of each other’s personality, strengths, and weaknesses? Take a personality profile. This is normally done under the direction of a counselor who will interpret the information and help you discover potential areas of personality conflicts.
4. To what degree have we excavated our spiritual foundations? What are your beliefs about God, Scripture, organized religion, values, and morals?
5. Are we being truthful with each other about our sexual histories? Are you far enough along in the relationship to feel comfortable talking about this? To what degree are you discussing your opinions about sexuality?
6. Have we discovered and are we speaking each other’s primary love language? It is in the context of a full love tank that we are most capable of honestly exploring the foundations of our relationship.
What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
1. Are my partner and I on the same wavelength intellectually? Try one of these exercises: Read a newspaper or online news article and discuss its merits and implications; read a book and share your impressions with each other.
2. To what degree have we surveyed the foundation of our social unity? Explore the following areas: sports, music, dance, parties, and vocational aspirations.
3. Do we have a clear understanding of each other’s personality, strengths, and weaknesses? Take a personality profile. This is normally done under the direction of a counselor who will interpret the information and help you discover potential areas of personality conflicts.
4. To what degree have we excavated our spiritual foundations? What are your beliefs about God, Scripture, organized religion, values, and morals?
5. Are we being truthful with each other about our sexual histories? Are you far enough along in the relationship to feel comfortable talking about this? To what degree are you discussing your opinions about sexuality?
6. Have we discovered and are we speaking each other’s primary love language? It is in the context of a full love tank that we are most capable of honestly exploring the foundations of our relationship.
What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
The Cross
by Max Lucado
The cross. Can you turn any direction without seeing one? Perched atop a chapel. Carved into a graveyard headstone. Engraved in a ring or suspended on a chain. The cross is the universal symbol of Christianity. An odd choice, don’t you think? Strange that a tool of torture would come to embody a movement of hope. The symbols of other faiths are more upbeat: the six-pointed star of David, the crescent moon of Islam, a lotus blossom for Buddhism. Yet a cross for Christianity? An instrument of execution?
Would you wear a tiny electric chair around your neck? Suspend a gold-plated hangman’s noose on the wall? Would you print a picture of a firing squad on a business card? Yet we do so with the cross. Many even make the sign of the cross as they pray. Would we make the sign of, say, a guillotine? Instead of the triangular touch on the forehead and shoulders, how about a karate chop on the palm? Doesn’t quite have the same feel, does it?
Why is the cross the symbol of our faith? To find the answer look no farther than the cross itself. Its design couldn’t be simpler. One beam horizontal—the other vertical. One reaches out—like God’s love. The other reaches up—as does God’s holiness. One represents the width of his love; the other reflects the height of his holiness. The cross is the intersection. The cross is where God forgave his children without lowering his standards.
How could he do this? In a sentence: God put our sin on his Son and punished it there.
“God put on him the wrong who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God” (2 Cor. 5:21 MSG).
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
The cross. Can you turn any direction without seeing one? Perched atop a chapel. Carved into a graveyard headstone. Engraved in a ring or suspended on a chain. The cross is the universal symbol of Christianity. An odd choice, don’t you think? Strange that a tool of torture would come to embody a movement of hope. The symbols of other faiths are more upbeat: the six-pointed star of David, the crescent moon of Islam, a lotus blossom for Buddhism. Yet a cross for Christianity? An instrument of execution?
Would you wear a tiny electric chair around your neck? Suspend a gold-plated hangman’s noose on the wall? Would you print a picture of a firing squad on a business card? Yet we do so with the cross. Many even make the sign of the cross as they pray. Would we make the sign of, say, a guillotine? Instead of the triangular touch on the forehead and shoulders, how about a karate chop on the palm? Doesn’t quite have the same feel, does it?
Why is the cross the symbol of our faith? To find the answer look no farther than the cross itself. Its design couldn’t be simpler. One beam horizontal—the other vertical. One reaches out—like God’s love. The other reaches up—as does God’s holiness. One represents the width of his love; the other reflects the height of his holiness. The cross is the intersection. The cross is where God forgave his children without lowering his standards.
How could he do this? In a sentence: God put our sin on his Son and punished it there.
“God put on him the wrong who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God” (2 Cor. 5:21 MSG).
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Why Get Married?
Well, if it’s so hard and the odds aren’t so good, this question might come up: why bother? With so many marriages ending in divorce, why take the risk? The simple answer is that we all desire to love and be loved uniquely, and that leads most of us into a covenant marriage relationship. Despite the rise in divorce, cohabitation, and unwed parenthood, marriage remains an aspiration of the vast majority of Americans. A recent survey found that 93 percent of Americans rate ‘having a happy marriage’ as either one of the most important, or very important objectives.”
With this desire, however, there are realistic fears. One research project that explored the attitude of today’s college students concluded, “They are desperate to have only one marriage, and they want it to be happy. They don’t know whether this is possible anymore.”
If college students—and other single adults—can understand the nature of love and how to express it effectively, they can have the “happy marriages” they desire. And so, my plea to every single who reads The Five Love Languages Singles Edition is to: (1) apply these principles in every dating relationship, (2) accept the thrill of the in-love obsession for what it is—exciting but temporary, and (3) commit yourself to purposeful love expressed in the other person’s primary love language.
When those in dating relationships do these things, they can then assess the other aspects of life that will help them make a wise decision about marriage.
Seven Common Purposes of Marriage:
“What is the purpose of marriage?” Here are some of the answers I received from the many single adults I have interacted with over the years
1. Companionship
2. Sex
3. Love
4. To provide a home for children
5. Social acceptance
6. Economic advantage
7. Security
But can’t these objectives be accomplished outside of marriage? Yes. Although abundant research has indicated that married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially. Still, the purpose of marriage runs deeper than any of these seven goals. We'll explore that purpose next week.
In last week's "A Love Language Minute," we discussed seven common purposes of marriage. But this week, we'll talk about the deepest purpose.
A Deeper Purpose
In the ancient biblical account of Creation, God says of Adam, "It is not good for the man to be alone." God's answer to man's need was "I will make a helper suitable for him." The Hebrew word for suitable literally means "face-to-face." The picture is that God created one with whom man could have a face-to-face relationship. It speaks of that kind of in-depth, personal relationship whereby the two are united in an unbreakable union that satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart.
Marriage is God's answer for humanity's deepest need-union of life with another. Indeed, that same ancient account of creation says of Adam and Eve, "They will become one flesh."
A Desire for Connection
Man's psychological history is replete with his desire for connection. I believe that marriage is designed to be the most intimate of all human relationships. The husband and wife are going to share life intellectually, emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually, and they are going to share life to such a degree that they become "one flesh." This does not mean that married couples lose their individuality, but it does mean that they have a deep sense of unity.
This kind of union does not come without the deep and enduring commitment that holds marriage up. Marriage is not a contract to make sexual relationships legal. It is not merely a social institution to provide for the care of children. It is not merely a psychological clinic where we gain the emotional support we need. It is not a means of gaining social status or economic security. The ultimate purpose of marriage is not even achieved when it is the vehicle for love and companionship, as valuable as these are.
The supreme purpose of marriage is the union of a man and woman at the deepest possible level and in all areas of life, which in turn brings the greatest possible sense of fulfillment to the couple and best serves the purposes of God for their lives.
What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
With this desire, however, there are realistic fears. One research project that explored the attitude of today’s college students concluded, “They are desperate to have only one marriage, and they want it to be happy. They don’t know whether this is possible anymore.”
If college students—and other single adults—can understand the nature of love and how to express it effectively, they can have the “happy marriages” they desire. And so, my plea to every single who reads The Five Love Languages Singles Edition is to: (1) apply these principles in every dating relationship, (2) accept the thrill of the in-love obsession for what it is—exciting but temporary, and (3) commit yourself to purposeful love expressed in the other person’s primary love language.
When those in dating relationships do these things, they can then assess the other aspects of life that will help them make a wise decision about marriage.
Seven Common Purposes of Marriage:
“What is the purpose of marriage?” Here are some of the answers I received from the many single adults I have interacted with over the years
1. Companionship
2. Sex
3. Love
4. To provide a home for children
5. Social acceptance
6. Economic advantage
7. Security
But can’t these objectives be accomplished outside of marriage? Yes. Although abundant research has indicated that married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially. Still, the purpose of marriage runs deeper than any of these seven goals. We'll explore that purpose next week.
In last week's "A Love Language Minute," we discussed seven common purposes of marriage. But this week, we'll talk about the deepest purpose.
A Deeper Purpose
In the ancient biblical account of Creation, God says of Adam, "It is not good for the man to be alone." God's answer to man's need was "I will make a helper suitable for him." The Hebrew word for suitable literally means "face-to-face." The picture is that God created one with whom man could have a face-to-face relationship. It speaks of that kind of in-depth, personal relationship whereby the two are united in an unbreakable union that satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart.
Marriage is God's answer for humanity's deepest need-union of life with another. Indeed, that same ancient account of creation says of Adam and Eve, "They will become one flesh."
A Desire for Connection
Man's psychological history is replete with his desire for connection. I believe that marriage is designed to be the most intimate of all human relationships. The husband and wife are going to share life intellectually, emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually, and they are going to share life to such a degree that they become "one flesh." This does not mean that married couples lose their individuality, but it does mean that they have a deep sense of unity.
This kind of union does not come without the deep and enduring commitment that holds marriage up. Marriage is not a contract to make sexual relationships legal. It is not merely a social institution to provide for the care of children. It is not merely a psychological clinic where we gain the emotional support we need. It is not a means of gaining social status or economic security. The ultimate purpose of marriage is not even achieved when it is the vehicle for love and companionship, as valuable as these are.
The supreme purpose of marriage is the union of a man and woman at the deepest possible level and in all areas of life, which in turn brings the greatest possible sense of fulfillment to the couple and best serves the purposes of God for their lives.
What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Monday, 14 September 2009
Jesus Betrayed by Judas
by Max Lucado
When betrayal comes, what do you do? Get out? Get angry? Get even? You have to deal with it some way. Let’s see how Jesus dealt with it.
Begin by noticing how Jesus saw Judas. “Jesus answered, ‘Friend, do what you came to do.’ ” (Matthew 26:50)
Of all the names I would have chosen for Judas it would not have been “friend.” What Judas did to Jesus was grossly unfair. There is no indication that Jesus ever mistreated Judas. There is no clue that Judas was ever left out or neglected. When, during the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciples that his betrayer sat at the table, they didn’t turn to one another and whisper, “It’s Judas. Jesus told us he would do this.”
They didn’t whisper it because Jesus never said it. He had known it. He had known what Judas would do, but he treated the betrayer as if he were faithful.
It’s even more unfair when you consider the betrayal was Judas’s idea. The religious leaders didn’t seek him, Judas sought them. “What will you pay me for giving Jesus to you?” he asked. (Matthew 26:15) The betrayal would have been more palatable had Judas been propositioned by the leaders, but he wasn’t. He propositioned them.
And Judas’s method … again, why did it have to be a kiss? (Matthew 26: 48–49)
And why did he have to call him “Teacher”? (Matthew 26:49) That’s a title of respect. The incongruity of his words, deeds, and actions—I wouldn’t have called Judas “friend.”
But that is exactly what Jesus called him. Why? Jesus could see something we can’t...
Jesus knew Judas had been seduced by a powerful foe. He was aware of the wiles of Satan’s whispers (he had just heard them himself). He knew how hard it was for Judas to do what was right.
He didn’t justify what Judas did. He didn’t minimize the deed. Nor did he release Judas from his choice. But he did look eye to eye with his betrayer and try to understand.
As long as you hate your enemy, a jail door is closed and a prisoner is taken. But when you try to understand and release your foe from your hatred, then the prisoner is released and that prisoner is you.
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
When betrayal comes, what do you do? Get out? Get angry? Get even? You have to deal with it some way. Let’s see how Jesus dealt with it.
Begin by noticing how Jesus saw Judas. “Jesus answered, ‘Friend, do what you came to do.’ ” (Matthew 26:50)
Of all the names I would have chosen for Judas it would not have been “friend.” What Judas did to Jesus was grossly unfair. There is no indication that Jesus ever mistreated Judas. There is no clue that Judas was ever left out or neglected. When, during the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciples that his betrayer sat at the table, they didn’t turn to one another and whisper, “It’s Judas. Jesus told us he would do this.”
They didn’t whisper it because Jesus never said it. He had known it. He had known what Judas would do, but he treated the betrayer as if he were faithful.
It’s even more unfair when you consider the betrayal was Judas’s idea. The religious leaders didn’t seek him, Judas sought them. “What will you pay me for giving Jesus to you?” he asked. (Matthew 26:15) The betrayal would have been more palatable had Judas been propositioned by the leaders, but he wasn’t. He propositioned them.
And Judas’s method … again, why did it have to be a kiss? (Matthew 26: 48–49)
And why did he have to call him “Teacher”? (Matthew 26:49) That’s a title of respect. The incongruity of his words, deeds, and actions—I wouldn’t have called Judas “friend.”
But that is exactly what Jesus called him. Why? Jesus could see something we can’t...
Jesus knew Judas had been seduced by a powerful foe. He was aware of the wiles of Satan’s whispers (he had just heard them himself). He knew how hard it was for Judas to do what was right.
He didn’t justify what Judas did. He didn’t minimize the deed. Nor did he release Judas from his choice. But he did look eye to eye with his betrayer and try to understand.
As long as you hate your enemy, a jail door is closed and a prisoner is taken. But when you try to understand and release your foe from your hatred, then the prisoner is released and that prisoner is you.
From
His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Renewing Your Mind
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. - Romans 12:2
If the strongholds in your mind are the result of conditioning, then you can be reconditioned by the renewing of your mind. Anything that has been learned can be unlearned. Certainly this is the major path of renewal in the New Testament. Through the preaching of God's Word, Bible study, and personal discipleship you stop being conformed to this world and experience the transformation of the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)..
If your past experience were spiritually or emotionally devastating, then counselling and Christ-centered support groups will help the transformation. Since some of these strongholds are thoughts raised up against the knowledge of God (2 Corinthians 10:5), learning to know God as a loving Father and yourself as His accepted child is your starting place.
But you are not just up against the world and the flesh. You are also up against the devil who is scheming to fill your mind with thoughts which are opposed to God's plan for you.
Notice how Paul uses the word for thoughts (noeme) in 2 Corinthians in relation to Satan's activity. We have already seen it in 2 Corinthians 10:5: "We are taking every thought (noema) captive to the obedience to Christ." Why do these thoughts need to be taken captive? Because they may be the enemy's.
In 2 Corinthians 3:14 and 4:4, Paul reveals that Satan is responsible for our spiritual hardness and blindness when we were unbelievers: "But their minds (noema) were hardened ... The god of this world has blinded the minds (noema) of the unbelieving." In 2 Corinthians 11:3 and 2:11, Paul states that Satan actively plots to defeat and divide believers: "I am afraid, least as the serpent deceived Eve by this craftiness, your minds (noema) should be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ ... We are not ignorant to his [Satan's] schemes (noema)." If Satan can place his thought in your mind - and he can - it is not much more of a trick for him to make you think it's your thought. That's the deception.
- Neil Anderson
20 SEPTEMBER 2009 - communion
CM: Caleb R.
WL: Peggy Tan
BU: Tian Sia, Gigi Lim, Siew Pin
P: Grace Lee
S: Christopher Lai
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Anna Sim
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Tommy Q., Manjit Singh
-
27 September
CM: Tom C.
WL: Terry C.
BU: Timothy C, Siew Pin, Peggy Tan
P: Chris Lai
S: Lydia Sim
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Nicholas
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Hiew FF, Tommy Q.
WL: Peggy Tan
BU: Tian Sia, Gigi Lim, Siew Pin
P: Grace Lee
S: Christopher Lai
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Anna Sim
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Tommy Q., Manjit Singh
-
27 September
CM: Tom C.
WL: Terry C.
BU: Timothy C, Siew Pin, Peggy Tan
P: Chris Lai
S: Lydia Sim
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Nicholas
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Hiew FF, Tommy Q.
Thursday, 10 September 2009
My Message is About Him
by Max Lucado
The request came when I was twenty. “Can you address our church youth group?” We aren’t talking citywide crusade here. Think more in terms of a dozen kids around a West Texas campfire. I was new to the faith, hence new to the power of the faith. I told my story, and, lo and behold, they listened! One even approached me afterward and said something like, “That moved me, Max.” My chest lifted, and my feet shifted just a step in the direction of the spotlight.
God has been nudging me back ever since.
Some of you don’t relate. The limelight never woos you. You and John the Baptist sing the same tune: “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less” (John 3:30 NLT). God bless you. You might pray for the rest of us. We applause-aholics have done it all: dropped names, sung loudly, dressed up to look classy, dressed down to look cool, quoted authors we’ve never read, spouted Greek we’ve never studied. For the life of me, I believe Satan trains battalions of demons to whisper one question in our ears: “What are people thinking of you?”
A deadly query. What they think of us matters not. What they think of God matters all. God will not share his glory with another (Isaiah 42:8). Next time you need a nudge away from the spotlight, remember: You are simply one link in a chain, an unimportant link at that.
Remember the other messengers God has used?
A donkey to speak to Balaam (Numbers 22:28).
A staff-turned-snake to stir Pharaoh (Exodus 7:10).
He used stubborn oxen to make a point about reverence and a big fish to make a point about reluctant preachers (I Samuel 6:1-12; Jonah 1:1-17)
God doesn’t need you and me to do his work. We are expedient messengers, ambassadors by his kindness, not by our cleverness.
It’s not about us, and it angers him when we think it is.
We who are entrusted with the gospel dare not seek applause but best deflect applause. For our message is about Someone else.
From
It's Not About Me
© (Thomas Nelson, 2007),
Max Lucado
The request came when I was twenty. “Can you address our church youth group?” We aren’t talking citywide crusade here. Think more in terms of a dozen kids around a West Texas campfire. I was new to the faith, hence new to the power of the faith. I told my story, and, lo and behold, they listened! One even approached me afterward and said something like, “That moved me, Max.” My chest lifted, and my feet shifted just a step in the direction of the spotlight.
God has been nudging me back ever since.
Some of you don’t relate. The limelight never woos you. You and John the Baptist sing the same tune: “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less” (John 3:30 NLT). God bless you. You might pray for the rest of us. We applause-aholics have done it all: dropped names, sung loudly, dressed up to look classy, dressed down to look cool, quoted authors we’ve never read, spouted Greek we’ve never studied. For the life of me, I believe Satan trains battalions of demons to whisper one question in our ears: “What are people thinking of you?”
A deadly query. What they think of us matters not. What they think of God matters all. God will not share his glory with another (Isaiah 42:8). Next time you need a nudge away from the spotlight, remember: You are simply one link in a chain, an unimportant link at that.
Remember the other messengers God has used?
A donkey to speak to Balaam (Numbers 22:28).
A staff-turned-snake to stir Pharaoh (Exodus 7:10).
He used stubborn oxen to make a point about reverence and a big fish to make a point about reluctant preachers (I Samuel 6:1-12; Jonah 1:1-17)
God doesn’t need you and me to do his work. We are expedient messengers, ambassadors by his kindness, not by our cleverness.
It’s not about us, and it angers him when we think it is.
We who are entrusted with the gospel dare not seek applause but best deflect applause. For our message is about Someone else.
From
It's Not About Me
© (Thomas Nelson, 2007),
Max Lucado
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
When Your Adult Child Is Not Succeeding
The poor decisions of your adult children can often bring great stress into your life. One of the first questions parents often ask is, “What did we do wrong?” That is not a bad question, because if you did wrong, it’s time to confess and ask forgiveness of your adult child. Honest confession may open the door to a renewed relationship.
On the other hand, you are not responsible for the decisions of your adult child. You may not have been a perfect parent, but now that they are adults, they must accept responsibility for their own actions. You can help them. You can encourage them. But you cannot take responsibility for their decisions. They must suffer the consequences of their behavior if they are to change.
Get on Track
Often parents feel guilty for past failures and allow an adult child to manipulate them and give in to unreasonable demands. But the fact is that you may be hurting more than helping. The more dependent your child becomes, the worse they will feel about themselves.
When you withhold funds, they may find the motivation they need to look for work. When they work, they begin to feel better about themselves. If you and your spouse cannot agree on a strategy for helping your child, then perhaps you need to talk to a pastor or counselor who can help you be objective. It’s worth the time and effort to get on a positive track. They need to see that you have their best interests in mind.
Should We Agree?
One of the first steps is seeking to understand the young person’s point of view. This requires a willingness to ask questions, and then to listen with a view to understanding what is going on in the mind of the child. This is a bridge that many parents find difficult to cross. Remember that we don’t have to agree with our children in order to affirm their ideas. It is such affirming realism that helps young adults mature.
Uniting with Your Spouse
If you are struggling with the behavior of your adult child, it is essential that you and your spouse talk with each other. When the two of you have agreed on a strategy, then stand by each other as you talk with your adult child. It is a united front, shared with love and firmness that convinces the young adult that he is at a crossroads in life. Your togetherness helps both of you to handle your frustration, and your marriage has a chance to grow stronger.
There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.
Excerpt taken from Parenting Your Adult Child by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
On the other hand, you are not responsible for the decisions of your adult child. You may not have been a perfect parent, but now that they are adults, they must accept responsibility for their own actions. You can help them. You can encourage them. But you cannot take responsibility for their decisions. They must suffer the consequences of their behavior if they are to change.
Get on Track
Often parents feel guilty for past failures and allow an adult child to manipulate them and give in to unreasonable demands. But the fact is that you may be hurting more than helping. The more dependent your child becomes, the worse they will feel about themselves.
When you withhold funds, they may find the motivation they need to look for work. When they work, they begin to feel better about themselves. If you and your spouse cannot agree on a strategy for helping your child, then perhaps you need to talk to a pastor or counselor who can help you be objective. It’s worth the time and effort to get on a positive track. They need to see that you have their best interests in mind.
Should We Agree?
One of the first steps is seeking to understand the young person’s point of view. This requires a willingness to ask questions, and then to listen with a view to understanding what is going on in the mind of the child. This is a bridge that many parents find difficult to cross. Remember that we don’t have to agree with our children in order to affirm their ideas. It is such affirming realism that helps young adults mature.
Uniting with Your Spouse
If you are struggling with the behavior of your adult child, it is essential that you and your spouse talk with each other. When the two of you have agreed on a strategy, then stand by each other as you talk with your adult child. It is a united front, shared with love and firmness that convinces the young adult that he is at a crossroads in life. Your togetherness helps both of you to handle your frustration, and your marriage has a chance to grow stronger.
There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.
Excerpt taken from Parenting Your Adult Child by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Songs 4 Worship Interview (2)
from Don
With 21 albums to his credit and over 5 million units sold, Don Moen is a creative force and an inspirational voice in worship music all over the world. Songs4Worship.com recently sat down for "10 Questions With Don Moen."
S4W.com: What compels you to write new songs?
Now, there have been instances where I have had dreams with the melody and words of a song with someone saying, "Here are the words and here are the chords-write them down." So I actually went to the piano and wrote them down.
S4W.com: Describe the most powerful worship experience you've ever had.
Moen: There are two, actually. One was after I had just written the song "I Want To Be Where You Are." I used to write songs in the apartment of a lady who had a grand piano, and in fact, I was writing the song "This Is My Holy Place," which was the last song for the musical God With Us. As I was writing the song, there suddenly came a really powerful sense of God's presence with me into that room. In fact, I had to get down on my knees because the feeling was so powerful. I literally had to stop praying because I thought to myself "They're going to find me in this room dead tomorrow and not know what happened." Since then, I've often wished that I hadn't stopped praying.
S4W.com: What's the songwriting process like for Don Moen?
Moen: When I started writing music, there weren't many people writing Christian music. I would get song ideas when I was ministering every night with a musical group, and would think, "If only I had a song that said this..." and because I couldn't find a song like that, I would write one. I never planned to be a writer, and still think I have a long way to go. I try to write songs based on a ministry focus. "What needs to be said here and now?" A lot of times, I'll go to an empty church and ask, "What's going to help me get into God's presence this morning." In fact, with "God Is Good All The Time," I sat in a service where a pastor said "God is good," and the people responded "All the time," and I thought, "There needs to be a song like that," so I went to Paul Overstreet and said, "Paul, let's write a song that says 'God Is Good All The Time.'"
S4W.com: What person has influenced your ministry/your music the most and how?
Moen: Probably Ray Schaibly-the man who was my pastor when I was twelve years old, and who passed away last year. Ray was my pastor from the time I was eight through sixteen and that is probably the most crucial time in a boy's life. My dad didn't go to church, so Ray took me fishing and hunting. After church he would lead us in songs with his guitar and would invite us to come to the altar and worship God. I can honestly say that I've thought many times, "You know, I don't think I would be doing what I am today if it weren't for Ray Schaibly and what he did in my life."
S4W.com: You've collaborated with other songwriters on songs, such as Paul Overstreet and Claire Cloninger. Have you found that this type of collaboration helps you to think "out of the box" and to stretch your creative muscles?
Moen: Collaboration is a very enjoyable process. I feel that I'm always strong on melodies and they come easy for me. When I was in the ninth grade, I went to an event where there was a competition to write two 16-bar songs. I just wrote them out, and it didn't take that long. I didn't pay any attention to it until later, but the professor had written on my paper, "Young man you have a very unique gift for writing melodies that you need to pursue." To me, it's very easy to write a melody, so it's good for me to collaborate with someone who has a good concept of melodies but also a good concept of words.
S4W.com: Who influenced you as a young musician and who influences you now?
Moen: I listened to old records of Frank Sinatra that my parents had at this lake cottage when I was a kid. I would play them on an old wind-up phonograph that belonged to my grandma and grandpa. On rainy days, I'd spin records like Frank Sinatra and Tommy Dorsey. All these guys were crooners, and sang really romantic ballads. That's what I listened to a lot, so I'm sure when you listen to my music, you'll probably see that I've been influenced by them.
With 21 albums to his credit and over 5 million units sold, Don Moen is a creative force and an inspirational voice in worship music all over the world. Songs4Worship.com recently sat down for "10 Questions With Don Moen."
S4W.com: What compels you to write new songs?
Moen: I never feel compelled to write songs. I mean, I feel it a little now because there's a deadline (laughs). Seriously, though, I do try to be faithful and sit at the piano and ask, "God, what do you want me to say?" Because it is a gift that I have been given, when there is a need, my first response is to address it musically. For instance, when I wrote "God Will Make A Way," I didn't really feel compelled to write it, but I wanted to know what to say to ease the pain of a lost loved one, and my first response was to write a song.
Now, there have been instances where I have had dreams with the melody and words of a song with someone saying, "Here are the words and here are the chords-write them down." So I actually went to the piano and wrote them down.
S4W.com: Describe the most powerful worship experience you've ever had.
Moen: There are two, actually. One was after I had just written the song "I Want To Be Where You Are." I used to write songs in the apartment of a lady who had a grand piano, and in fact, I was writing the song "This Is My Holy Place," which was the last song for the musical God With Us. As I was writing the song, there suddenly came a really powerful sense of God's presence with me into that room. In fact, I had to get down on my knees because the feeling was so powerful. I literally had to stop praying because I thought to myself "They're going to find me in this room dead tomorrow and not know what happened." Since then, I've often wished that I hadn't stopped praying.
The other experience was during the recording of Bless The Lord in Orlando, Florida at Calvary Assembly of God. All of side two of that album, starting with "I Just Want To Be Where You Are," and ending with "This Is My Holy Place" was one of the most overwhelming times of worship I have ever experienced. In fact, when I listen to it today, it still overwhelms me. And for me to be able to listen to my own music and still be overwhelmed by the presence of God says a lot about the power of that night.
S4W.com: What's the songwriting process like for Don Moen?
Moen: When I started writing music, there weren't many people writing Christian music. I would get song ideas when I was ministering every night with a musical group, and would think, "If only I had a song that said this..." and because I couldn't find a song like that, I would write one. I never planned to be a writer, and still think I have a long way to go. I try to write songs based on a ministry focus. "What needs to be said here and now?" A lot of times, I'll go to an empty church and ask, "What's going to help me get into God's presence this morning." In fact, with "God Is Good All The Time," I sat in a service where a pastor said "God is good," and the people responded "All the time," and I thought, "There needs to be a song like that," so I went to Paul Overstreet and said, "Paul, let's write a song that says 'God Is Good All The Time.'"
S4W.com: What person has influenced your ministry/your music the most and how?
Moen: Probably Ray Schaibly-the man who was my pastor when I was twelve years old, and who passed away last year. Ray was my pastor from the time I was eight through sixteen and that is probably the most crucial time in a boy's life. My dad didn't go to church, so Ray took me fishing and hunting. After church he would lead us in songs with his guitar and would invite us to come to the altar and worship God. I can honestly say that I've thought many times, "You know, I don't think I would be doing what I am today if it weren't for Ray Schaibly and what he did in my life."
Ray gave me a hunger for those moments in God's presence. Why else would I have underlined in my Bible, as a twelve-year-old kid, Psalm 27:4: One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. I know that hunger came from what Ray was doing in my life. I kept in touch with him over the years and still keep in touch with his wife.
S4W.com: You've collaborated with other songwriters on songs, such as Paul Overstreet and Claire Cloninger. Have you found that this type of collaboration helps you to think "out of the box" and to stretch your creative muscles?
Moen: Collaboration is a very enjoyable process. I feel that I'm always strong on melodies and they come easy for me. When I was in the ninth grade, I went to an event where there was a competition to write two 16-bar songs. I just wrote them out, and it didn't take that long. I didn't pay any attention to it until later, but the professor had written on my paper, "Young man you have a very unique gift for writing melodies that you need to pursue." To me, it's very easy to write a melody, so it's good for me to collaborate with someone who has a good concept of melodies but also a good concept of words.
S4W.com: Who influenced you as a young musician and who influences you now?
Moen: I listened to old records of Frank Sinatra that my parents had at this lake cottage when I was a kid. I would play them on an old wind-up phonograph that belonged to my grandma and grandpa. On rainy days, I'd spin records like Frank Sinatra and Tommy Dorsey. All these guys were crooners, and sang really romantic ballads. That's what I listened to a lot, so I'm sure when you listen to my music, you'll probably see that I've been influenced by them.
Monday, 7 September 2009
My Salvation is About Him
by Max Lucado
Who would look at the cross of Christ and say, “Great work, Jesus. Sorry you couldn’t finish it, but I’ll take up the slack.”?
Dare we question the crowning work of God? Dare we think heaven needs our help in saving us? Legalism discounts God and in the process makes a mess out of us.
To anyone attempting to earn heaven, Paul asks, “How is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? ….What has happened to all your joy?” (Galatians 4:19, 15 NIV).
Legalism is joyless because legalism is endless. There is always another class to attend, person to teach, mouth to feed. Inmates incarcerated in self-salvation find work but never joy. How could they? They never know when they are finished. Legalism leaches joy.
Grace, however, dispenses peace. The Christian trusts a finished work.
Grace offers rest. Legalism never does. Then why do we embrace it? “Those who trust in themselves are foolish” (Proverbs 28:26 NCV). Why do we trust in ourselves? Why do we add to God’s finished work?
But the truth is, we don’t. If we think we do, we have missed the message. “What is left for us to brag about?” Paul wonders (Romans 3:27 CEV). What is there indeed? What have you contributed? Aside from your admission of utter decadence, I can’t think of a thing. “By his doing you are in Christ Jesus” (1 Corinthians 1:30). Salvation glorifies the Savior, not the saved.
Your salvation showcases God’s mercy. It makes nothing of your effort but everything of his. “I—yes, I alone—am the one who blots out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again” (Isaiah, 43:25, emphasis mine).
Can you add anything to this salvation? No. The work is finished.
Can you earn this salvation? No. Don’t dishonor God by trying.
Dare we boast about this salvation? By no means. The giver of bread, not the beggar, deserves praise. “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:31).
It’s not about what we do; it’s all about what he does.
From
It's Not About Me
© (Thomas Nelson, 2007),
Max Lucado
Who would look at the cross of Christ and say, “Great work, Jesus. Sorry you couldn’t finish it, but I’ll take up the slack.”?
Dare we question the crowning work of God? Dare we think heaven needs our help in saving us? Legalism discounts God and in the process makes a mess out of us.
To anyone attempting to earn heaven, Paul asks, “How is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? ….What has happened to all your joy?” (Galatians 4:19, 15 NIV).
Legalism is joyless because legalism is endless. There is always another class to attend, person to teach, mouth to feed. Inmates incarcerated in self-salvation find work but never joy. How could they? They never know when they are finished. Legalism leaches joy.
Grace, however, dispenses peace. The Christian trusts a finished work.
Grace offers rest. Legalism never does. Then why do we embrace it? “Those who trust in themselves are foolish” (Proverbs 28:26 NCV). Why do we trust in ourselves? Why do we add to God’s finished work?
But the truth is, we don’t. If we think we do, we have missed the message. “What is left for us to brag about?” Paul wonders (Romans 3:27 CEV). What is there indeed? What have you contributed? Aside from your admission of utter decadence, I can’t think of a thing. “By his doing you are in Christ Jesus” (1 Corinthians 1:30). Salvation glorifies the Savior, not the saved.
Your salvation showcases God’s mercy. It makes nothing of your effort but everything of his. “I—yes, I alone—am the one who blots out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again” (Isaiah, 43:25, emphasis mine).
Can you add anything to this salvation? No. The work is finished.
Can you earn this salvation? No. Don’t dishonor God by trying.
Dare we boast about this salvation? By no means. The giver of bread, not the beggar, deserves praise. “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:31).
It’s not about what we do; it’s all about what he does.
From
It's Not About Me
© (Thomas Nelson, 2007),
Max Lucado
Sunday, 6 September 2009
Free To Live
If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law - Galatians 5:18
Paul said that walking according to the Spirit is not license; an excessive or undisciplined freedom constituting an abuse of privilege. As Christian you may see the phrase "You are not under the Law" in Galatians 5:18 and exclaim, "Wow, I'm free! Walking in the Spirit means I can do anything I want!" Not at all. In the previous verse Paul wrote, "You may not do the things that you please." Being led by the Spirit does not mean you are free to do anything you want to do. If means you are finally free to live responsible, moral life - something you were incapable of doing when you were prisoner of your flesh.
Once I was invited to speak to a religion class at a Catholic high school on the topic of Protestant Christianity. At the end of my talk, an athletic-looking, streetwise student raise his hand and asked, "Do you have a lot of don'ts in your church?"
Sensing that he had a deeper motive, I answered, "What you really want to ask me is if we have any freedom, right?" He nodded. "I'm free to rob a bank. But I'm mature enough to realize that I would be in bondage to that act for the rest of my life. I'd have to cover up my crime, go into hiding, or eventually pay for what I did. I'm also free to tell a lie. But if I do, I have to keep telling it, and I have to remember who I told it to and how I told it or I will get caught. I'm free to do drugs, abuse alcohol, and live a sexually immoral lifestyel. All of those "freedoms" lead to bondage. I'm free to make those choices, but considering the consequences, would I really be free?"
What appears to be freedom to some people is not really freedom, but a return to bondage (Galatians 5:1). God's laws, from which we seek to be free, are not restrictive, but protective. Your real freedom is your ability to choose to live responsibly within the context of the protective guidelines God has established for our lives.
We thank our Lord for the privilege we have to choose to live in freedom. He will help us not to abuse that privilege today and find ourselves in bondage.
- Neil Anderson
13 SEPTEMBER 2009
CM: Barnabas P.
WL: Shankar R.
BU: Kenneth Lai, Shankar R., Foong Yee
P: Jason Lai
S: Christopher Lai
G: Chew Weng Ern
D: Kai Yew
LCD: Tian Sia, Colleen Chang
PA: Manjit Singh,Hiew FF
-
20 SEPTEMBER 2009 - communion
CM: Caleb R.
WL: Peggy Tan
BU: Tian Sia, Gigi Lim, Siew Pin
P: Grace Lee
S: Christopher Lai
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Anna Sim
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Tommy Q., Manjit Singh
WL: Shankar R.
BU: Kenneth Lai, Shankar R., Foong Yee
P: Jason Lai
S: Christopher Lai
G: Chew Weng Ern
D: Kai Yew
LCD: Tian Sia, Colleen Chang
PA: Manjit Singh,Hiew FF
-
20 SEPTEMBER 2009 - communion
CM: Caleb R.
WL: Peggy Tan
BU: Tian Sia, Gigi Lim, Siew Pin
P: Grace Lee
S: Christopher Lai
G: Kenneth Lai
D: Anna Sim
LCD: Moses Tan, Jocelyn Lee
PA: Tommy Q., Manjit Singh
Thursday, 3 September 2009
My Body is About Him
by Max Lucado
“Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you?” (1 Corinthians 6:19 NLT). Paul wrote these words to counter the Corinthian sex obsession. “Run away from sexual sin!” reads the prior sentence. “No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (v.18 NLT).
What a salmon scripture! No message swims more up-stream than this one. You know the sexual anthem of our day: “I’ll do what I want. It’s my body.” God’s firm response? “No, it’s not. It’s mine.”
Be quick to understand, God is not antisex. Dismiss any notion that God is antiaffection and anti-intercourse. After all, he developed the whole package. Sex was his idea. From his perspective, sex is nothing short of holy.
He views sexual intimacy the way I view our family Bible. Passed down from my father’s side, the volume is one hundred years old and twelve inches thick. Replete with lithographs, scribblings, and a family tree, it is, in my estimation, beyond value. Hence, I use it carefully.
When I need a stepstool, I don’t reach for the Bible. If the foot of my bed breaks, I don’t use the family Bible as a prop. When we need old paper for wrapping, we don’t rip a sheet out of this book. We reserve the heirloom for special times and keep it in a chosen place.
Regard sex the same way—as a holy gift to be opened in a special place at special times. The special place is marriage, and the time is with your spouse.
Casual sex, intimacy outside of marriage, pulls the Corinthian ploy. It pretends we can give the body and not affect the soul. We can’t. We humans are so intricately psychosomatic that whatever touches the soma impacts the phyche as well. The me-centered phrase “as long as no one gets hurt” sounds noble, but the truth is, we don’t know who gets hurt. God-centered thinking rescues us from the sex we thought would make us happy. You may think your dalliances are harmless, and years may pass before the x-rays reveal the internal damage, but don’t be fooled. Casual sex is a diet of chocolate—it tastes good for a while, but the imbalance can ruin you. Sex apart from God’s plan wounds the soul.
Your body, God’s temple. Respect it.
From
It's Not About Me
© (Thomas Nelson, 2007),
Max Lucado
“Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you?” (1 Corinthians 6:19 NLT). Paul wrote these words to counter the Corinthian sex obsession. “Run away from sexual sin!” reads the prior sentence. “No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (v.18 NLT).
What a salmon scripture! No message swims more up-stream than this one. You know the sexual anthem of our day: “I’ll do what I want. It’s my body.” God’s firm response? “No, it’s not. It’s mine.”
Be quick to understand, God is not antisex. Dismiss any notion that God is antiaffection and anti-intercourse. After all, he developed the whole package. Sex was his idea. From his perspective, sex is nothing short of holy.
He views sexual intimacy the way I view our family Bible. Passed down from my father’s side, the volume is one hundred years old and twelve inches thick. Replete with lithographs, scribblings, and a family tree, it is, in my estimation, beyond value. Hence, I use it carefully.
When I need a stepstool, I don’t reach for the Bible. If the foot of my bed breaks, I don’t use the family Bible as a prop. When we need old paper for wrapping, we don’t rip a sheet out of this book. We reserve the heirloom for special times and keep it in a chosen place.
Regard sex the same way—as a holy gift to be opened in a special place at special times. The special place is marriage, and the time is with your spouse.
Casual sex, intimacy outside of marriage, pulls the Corinthian ploy. It pretends we can give the body and not affect the soul. We can’t. We humans are so intricately psychosomatic that whatever touches the soma impacts the phyche as well. The me-centered phrase “as long as no one gets hurt” sounds noble, but the truth is, we don’t know who gets hurt. God-centered thinking rescues us from the sex we thought would make us happy. You may think your dalliances are harmless, and years may pass before the x-rays reveal the internal damage, but don’t be fooled. Casual sex is a diet of chocolate—it tastes good for a while, but the imbalance can ruin you. Sex apart from God’s plan wounds the soul.
Your body, God’s temple. Respect it.
From
It's Not About Me
© (Thomas Nelson, 2007),
Max Lucado
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Physical Intimacy in Marriage
Last week we discussed four types of maritial intimacy. The fifth is physical intimacy, which will be covered this week and next week.
The book of Genesis says that when a husband and wife have sexual intercourse, they become “one flesh." It is the consummating act of marriage, the physical expression of the inward union of two lives.
Sex is not simply a matter of joining two bodies that were uniquely made for each other. It speaks of intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual bonding as well. Sex was God’s idea, and marriage is the context in which it finds ultimate meaning.
Celebrate the Differences
Sexual intimacy is certainly near the top on the list of intimacies commonly desired in marriage. Because men and women are sexually different (long live the difference!), we often approach sexual intimacy in different ways. The husband’s emphasis is most often on the physical aspects--seeing, touching, and feeling. On the other hand, the wife emphasizes the emotional aspects--to feel loved, cared for, and treated tenderly. For her, these pave the road to sexual intimacy.
Mutual Satisfaction
Understanding male-female differences is necessary if we are going to discover God’s ideal of sexual intimacy. The husband must learn to focus on his wife’s emotional need for love. The wife must understand the physical aspect of her husband’s sexual desires. As in all other areas of marriage, this requires learning. If the couple focuses on making the sexual experience an act of love, each seeking to pleasure the other, they will find sexual intimacy.
It should be obvious that we cannot separate sexual intimacy from emotional, intellectual, social, and spiritual intimacy. You can study these separately, but in the context of human relationships, they can never be compartmentalized.
The sense of closeness, of being one, of finding mutual satisfaction is reserved for the couple who is willing to do the hard work of learning. Love can be learned, and sexual intimacy is one of the results.
Men and women are similar, yet vastly different. That was God’s design. In the sexual area of life, God also made us different.
The Desire For Intimacy
Men are stimulated by sight. The female is far more stimulated by tender touch, affirming words, and acts of thoughtfulness. That is why many wives have said, “Sex doesn’t begin in the bedroom. It begins in the kitchen. It doesn’t start at night. It starts in the morning.” The way she is treated and spoken to throughout the day will have a profound effect upon her desire for sexual intimacy.
I’m convinced that if husbands would follow the Biblical admonition to “dwell with their wives according to knowledge” (I Peter 3:7), they would discover the sexual intimacy which God designed marriage to provide.
The Effect On Family
Intimacy between the husband and wife spills over into the rest of family life. If intimacy is missing in the marital relationship, it will likely be distorted in parent-child relationships and in sibling relationships. In healthy families, husbands and wives make their marriage top priority. Intimacy between a husband and wife not only serves their own needs, but provides the highest level of emotional security for children.
It is my own commitment to this principle that has led me to invest the bulk of my time and energy in the field of marriage enrichment. Both my writing and my seminars focus on the marital relationship.
I am fully convinced that my greatest contribution to the children of this generation lies in helping their mothers and fathers build intimate marriages. It was God who said the two are to become “one flesh." In this reality, marriage finds its highest purpose.
There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.
Excerpt taken from The Family You've Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make it Happen by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
The book of Genesis says that when a husband and wife have sexual intercourse, they become “one flesh." It is the consummating act of marriage, the physical expression of the inward union of two lives.
Sex is not simply a matter of joining two bodies that were uniquely made for each other. It speaks of intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual bonding as well. Sex was God’s idea, and marriage is the context in which it finds ultimate meaning.
Celebrate the Differences
Sexual intimacy is certainly near the top on the list of intimacies commonly desired in marriage. Because men and women are sexually different (long live the difference!), we often approach sexual intimacy in different ways. The husband’s emphasis is most often on the physical aspects--seeing, touching, and feeling. On the other hand, the wife emphasizes the emotional aspects--to feel loved, cared for, and treated tenderly. For her, these pave the road to sexual intimacy.
Mutual Satisfaction
Understanding male-female differences is necessary if we are going to discover God’s ideal of sexual intimacy. The husband must learn to focus on his wife’s emotional need for love. The wife must understand the physical aspect of her husband’s sexual desires. As in all other areas of marriage, this requires learning. If the couple focuses on making the sexual experience an act of love, each seeking to pleasure the other, they will find sexual intimacy.
It should be obvious that we cannot separate sexual intimacy from emotional, intellectual, social, and spiritual intimacy. You can study these separately, but in the context of human relationships, they can never be compartmentalized.
The sense of closeness, of being one, of finding mutual satisfaction is reserved for the couple who is willing to do the hard work of learning. Love can be learned, and sexual intimacy is one of the results.
Men and women are similar, yet vastly different. That was God’s design. In the sexual area of life, God also made us different.
The Desire For Intimacy
Men are stimulated by sight. The female is far more stimulated by tender touch, affirming words, and acts of thoughtfulness. That is why many wives have said, “Sex doesn’t begin in the bedroom. It begins in the kitchen. It doesn’t start at night. It starts in the morning.” The way she is treated and spoken to throughout the day will have a profound effect upon her desire for sexual intimacy.
I’m convinced that if husbands would follow the Biblical admonition to “dwell with their wives according to knowledge” (I Peter 3:7), they would discover the sexual intimacy which God designed marriage to provide.
The Effect On Family
Intimacy between the husband and wife spills over into the rest of family life. If intimacy is missing in the marital relationship, it will likely be distorted in parent-child relationships and in sibling relationships. In healthy families, husbands and wives make their marriage top priority. Intimacy between a husband and wife not only serves their own needs, but provides the highest level of emotional security for children.
It is my own commitment to this principle that has led me to invest the bulk of my time and energy in the field of marriage enrichment. Both my writing and my seminars focus on the marital relationship.
I am fully convinced that my greatest contribution to the children of this generation lies in helping their mothers and fathers build intimate marriages. It was God who said the two are to become “one flesh." In this reality, marriage finds its highest purpose.
There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.
Excerpt taken from The Family You've Always Wanted: Five Ways You Can Make it Happen by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
Songs 4 Worship Interview (1)
from Don
With 21 albums to his credit and over 5 million units sold, Don Moen is a creative force and an inspirational voice in worship music all over the world. Songs4Worship.com recently sat down for "10 Questions With Don Moen."
Songs4Worship: What has been the greatest challenge you've faced since you began pursuing music as a calling and a career?
Don Moen: Balancing my time is probably the biggest challenge. Balancing my work in the office and my role as a father, husband and songwriter has been a great challenge, and it's tougher now that my children are older. When children are younger, they need food, home and a bath, but as they grow older, they start school and need help with their homework and start driving cars. That's one of the reasons I say no to a lot of things. You only have your kids once. When people ask me if they can pray for me, I ask them to pray that I have balance in my life.
S4W.com: What has been the most profound lesson you've learned about worship over the past few years?
Moen: There were quite a few years when I was first doing praise and worship music when people would laugh at it and say, "That's not music-that's not serious." Only in the last few years has praise and worship music become a genre. Major artists are now doing worship records and they're starting to become their best ones. So only recently has praise and worship come to be recognized as a very significant category, and it's almost the only category in Christian music that is still showing solid growth. For many years it wasn't like that, though, so it was always a challenge to gain recognition without compromising integrity.
S4W.com: What is the most profound lesson you've learned about life over the past few years?
Moen: Be yourself, no matter what it is you do. Many times people try to be someone they're not. I'm a ballad singer, and I don't have hot licks like some artists. My kids would not call my songs "cool," but the most valuable lesson I've learned is to be happy and comfortable with who God made me to be. I think it's so easy to get caught up in the production and presentation of something and to not ask the hard questions, like "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" We should all analyze what we do everyday and say, "Why did we do what we just did."
S4W.com: What does "worship lifestyle" mean to you?
Moen: First of all, it means that worship is more than a song. It's important to remember that music is just one facet of worship. To me, worship lifestyle means being the same person at home and the same person in the supermarket that I am on the stage. It means following the example of Jesus, who was the Son of God, but was also the Son of Man. Jesus was approachable, and people loved to be around him. Just ask yourself, "Was Jesus a true worshiper?" You bet he was.
S4W.com: How do you explain the powerful connection between music and worship expression?
Moen: First of all, music is such a powerful tool for bringing people together. For instance, one song can be sung around the world in different languages and have the same meaning, so why not use the beauty and the power of music to facilitate the worship of God? Look at history-Bach and Handel were the songwriters of the church.
Music also has the ability to tear down barriers. I've seen the power of song bring congregations and denominations together when the greatest sermon could not. It's hard to stay angry with someone when you sit next to him and experience God's presence through song.
S4W.com: How do you explain the powerful connection between music and worship expression?
Moen: First of all, music is such a powerful tool for bringing people together. For instance, one song can be sung around the world in different languages and have the same meaning, so why not use the beauty and the power of music to facilitate the worship of God? Look at history-Bach and Handel were the songwriters of the church.
Music also has the ability to tear down barriers. I've seen the power of song bring congregations and denominations together when the greatest sermon could not. It's hard to stay angry with someone when you sit next to him and experience God's presence through song.
With 21 albums to his credit and over 5 million units sold, Don Moen is a creative force and an inspirational voice in worship music all over the world. Songs4Worship.com recently sat down for "10 Questions With Don Moen."
Songs4Worship: What has been the greatest challenge you've faced since you began pursuing music as a calling and a career?
Don Moen: Balancing my time is probably the biggest challenge. Balancing my work in the office and my role as a father, husband and songwriter has been a great challenge, and it's tougher now that my children are older. When children are younger, they need food, home and a bath, but as they grow older, they start school and need help with their homework and start driving cars. That's one of the reasons I say no to a lot of things. You only have your kids once. When people ask me if they can pray for me, I ask them to pray that I have balance in my life.
S4W.com: What has been the most profound lesson you've learned about worship over the past few years?
Moen: There were quite a few years when I was first doing praise and worship music when people would laugh at it and say, "That's not music-that's not serious." Only in the last few years has praise and worship music become a genre. Major artists are now doing worship records and they're starting to become their best ones. So only recently has praise and worship come to be recognized as a very significant category, and it's almost the only category in Christian music that is still showing solid growth. For many years it wasn't like that, though, so it was always a challenge to gain recognition without compromising integrity.
S4W.com: What is the most profound lesson you've learned about life over the past few years?
Moen: Be yourself, no matter what it is you do. Many times people try to be someone they're not. I'm a ballad singer, and I don't have hot licks like some artists. My kids would not call my songs "cool," but the most valuable lesson I've learned is to be happy and comfortable with who God made me to be. I think it's so easy to get caught up in the production and presentation of something and to not ask the hard questions, like "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" We should all analyze what we do everyday and say, "Why did we do what we just did."
S4W.com: What does "worship lifestyle" mean to you?
Moen: First of all, it means that worship is more than a song. It's important to remember that music is just one facet of worship. To me, worship lifestyle means being the same person at home and the same person in the supermarket that I am on the stage. It means following the example of Jesus, who was the Son of God, but was also the Son of Man. Jesus was approachable, and people loved to be around him. Just ask yourself, "Was Jesus a true worshiper?" You bet he was.
S4W.com: How do you explain the powerful connection between music and worship expression?
Moen: First of all, music is such a powerful tool for bringing people together. For instance, one song can be sung around the world in different languages and have the same meaning, so why not use the beauty and the power of music to facilitate the worship of God? Look at history-Bach and Handel were the songwriters of the church.
Music also has the ability to tear down barriers. I've seen the power of song bring congregations and denominations together when the greatest sermon could not. It's hard to stay angry with someone when you sit next to him and experience God's presence through song.
S4W.com: How do you explain the powerful connection between music and worship expression?
Moen: First of all, music is such a powerful tool for bringing people together. For instance, one song can be sung around the world in different languages and have the same meaning, so why not use the beauty and the power of music to facilitate the worship of God? Look at history-Bach and Handel were the songwriters of the church.
Music also has the ability to tear down barriers. I've seen the power of song bring congregations and denominations together when the greatest sermon could not. It's hard to stay angry with someone when you sit next to him and experience God's presence through song.
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