Peter's Wife: Forgiveness - part 1

about Peter's Wife   April 20, 2011

This month my husband and I have been counseling several different people with the same problem. Maybe you have been struggling with this issue or maybe, like us, you have been trying to help someone else with this trouble. That issue is unforgiveness! It seems like there is an epidemic of offended people right now.

Just because we are PWs, recognized and commissioned to serve others, doesn’t mean we never need forgiveness. And just because we have been believers for many years doesn’t mean we are pros at forgiving. Maybe because we don’t have the kind of support system our family and friends have back home, we may need a refresher course on this all important issue of forgiveness.

Some years ago my husband wrote this article on forgiveness. I’ve adapted it in places for our cross cultural community. You can see the original article written for husbands and wives at: intermin.org

Every one of us need forgiving people around us. The reason is obvious: we need forgiving because we make mistakes. That would explain two interesting facts in the Bible:

• Fact one: God’s Word urges us to pursue perfection, to grow and mature in grace, and to become like Jesus.
• Fact two: The Bible also teaches us to forgive one another. On the road of life we step on many toes, so we need to forgive and to receive forgiveness.

Change!

After 34 years of marriage and ministry, Diane and I are right in the middle of one of the biggest changes of our lives. Unexpected? No. Challenging. Yes. All changes are. This one involves selling our house and moving to another country. You can imagine the stresses that can bring. And that is just one part of the change.

Some marriages breakdown during major changes because they had little strength to begin with. You've heard the stories. The children marry and move away, and the couple has no other reason to stay together, only a long list of unmet needs and unresolved conflicts. So, they go their separate ways, live separate lives. If you do not want a future like that, you have to start preparing for a different future right now. No matter what the change, it always puts stress on your relationship to your spouse, your children, and others. Like the Boy Scout motto says, "Be Prepared."

Here is today's key concept: How we survive change depends on how we have lived before the change.

Diane and I have built a life of trusting God, staying close to him and to each other. Have we had frustrations? We have, we are, and we will. But we face them together. We have long lists of answered prayers, forgiven offenses, and incredible joys, all because of God's faithfulness.

Rules for the Road

Transition is a road, not just a destination. So here are some rules for the road that will help you reach your goal:

Sunday Sermon 24-July 2011 - Rev Dr Solomon Abraham

Speaker: Rev. Dr. Solomon Abraham
Grace Assembly Of God, Petaling Jaya

http://www.mediafire.com/?2s1c2xg3vbn9zko

Worship Team 31 July 2011

Chairperson: Hong Lu

Worship Leader: Terry Choong
Vocalist: Lareina, Colleen, Lydia Sim
Pianist: Lydia Sim
Synth: Jocelyn Lee
Guitarist: Ken Fhui
Bassist: Weng Ern
Drummer: Anna Sim

Projectionist: Daniel Dusanjh

PA Personnel: Manjit Singh, Hiew FF

Fruit of the spirit

from HERE

The Positive Parent's Creed

1. We will let our children know we love them no matter what they do:
Our children will learn that love is not earned, love is freely given.

2. We will be honest about our mistakes, remembering to ask our children to forgive us when we fail them or misunderstand them:
Our children will learn the value of personal honesty instead of hypocrisy.

3. We will give each child some individual time and attention every day:
Our children will learn that they are important to us, not a nuisance that we endure.

4. We will listen to our children as well as talk to them:
Our children will learn that listening to one another is one of the most loving things we can do for each other.

5. We will help our children develop a genuine personal faith in God:
Our children will learn, through our example, the value of a genuine faith.

6. We will correctly love and lovingly correct:
Our children will learn that discipline is an expression of love.

7. We will teach proper relationship to authority:
Our children will learn that respect for authority is the key to a successful life.

8. We will encourage proper independence:
Our children will develop a strong conscience. They will learn to withstand and overcome the negative pressures around them.

Loved by a Trustworthy God

by Max Lucado

“You will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.”

Matthew 24:6

Nature is a pregnant creation, third-trimester heavy. When a tornado rips through a city in Kansas or an earthquake flattens a region in Pakistan, this is more than barometric changes or shifts of ancient fault lines. The universe is passing through the final hours before delivery. Painful contractions are in the forecast.

As are conflicts: “wars and rumors of wars.” One nation invading another. One superpower defying another. Borders will always need checkpoints. War correspondents will always have employment. The population of the world will never see peace this side of heaven.

Christians will suffer the most. “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me” (Matt. 24:9 NIV).

Don’t Join the Cult of the Backslider

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

Many young adults today are abandoning biblical faith or mixing it with other religions. How should we respond?

Since the Wild Goose Festival was held in North Carolina’s mountains, you might be tempted to think it was a typical bluegrass festival. Think again. The organizers of this event, which attracted 1,500 people in late June, say their quasi-Christian conference “is going to grow into the largest, best run, most dynamic religious happening in the U.S.”

If a slick-haired TV evangelist had made such a pompous statement we would have rolled our eyes and laughed the guy off the stage. But the founder of Wild Goose, a peace activist from Northern Ireland named Gareth Higgins, is convinced his movement will capture the hearts of young Americans who are questioning their evangelical faith and exploring other options.

“Heretical teaching rarely comes from the outside. Instead, it enters the church in ways we would never expect: through a best-selling Christian author, a wildly popular celebrity or right over the airwaves through a Christian TV program. It might even walk down the church aisle and stand in the pulpit!"

A Parent's Greatest Gift

You can't buy it with money, but it's worth more than jewels

As Christian parents, can we identify one special quality that we should aim for in raising our children? Yes, I think we can. Let’s look at a verse that describes the childhood development of Jesus:

". . . Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men." (Luke 2:52 NIV) “

What is the first quality that Jesus grew in? Wisdom. What parents could ask for more for their children than that? Any person who has wisdom will become a complete, mature individual– a young man or woman ready to honour God and bless the world.

There’s a big difference between smart and wise. Presently many societies work hard to produce smart children, but consider this: What good is an education if a person doesn’t know how to live? Can top grades guarantee a child’s success as a human being? Haven’t we all known intelligent, gifted people who didn’t know how to live? They had a brain stuffed with information, but they lived reckless, thoughtless lives. They may have been at the top of their class, but because they lacked wisdom they sank to the bottom of the barrel.

Remember: Parents have the responsibility for raising wise kids. Teachers can help, but we should see teachers as assistants, not as substitutes. As parents we should approach the task of raising wise children as though no one else will do it. Are you wise enough to see your child’s need for wisdom?

The Church’s Answer to Immorality – Part Two

by Mark Gungor 

In the last post I began discussing the way most churches handle teaching their young people about sexual purity (or not teaching it as the case may be). While many Christians use purity rings and pledges to ensure right living, they also throw in a healthy measure of the world’s view making concessions for masturbation and what I term “non-sex” sex to tackle the question of sexual immorality. But we are giving the wrong answer.

It’s time that The Church starts acting like The Church, time to start giving the right answer to immorality and that answer is this: Get married.

We rarely, if ever, hear that! Far and few between are the pastors who preach from their pulpits to get married, like the apostle Paul writes in I Corinthians 7. Seldom is the answer the biblical one, rather what we Christians are spewing is the same twisted answer of the world: No, no, no! You can’t get married! You need to wait! I will not go on my rant regarding this topic but you can read my post on Young Marriage to get the full story.

Positive Help

Meet Vincent, the ten-year-old mystery child. No one understands him. His friends think Vincent is stupid. They even tell him so. He puzzles his teachers. Some say he is uncooperative; some say he is inattentive; one says he’s just lazy. They all believe that Vincent is a problem.

Although they love their son, Vincent’s parents fear that the teachers are right. They feel defeated. They offer him rewards if only he’ll cooperate, even scold and discipline him. Still Vincent struggles and rebels against school work. Their son’s behavior embarrasses them. "Why can’t he be like his sister?" they ask. "She was so easy to raise, and so good at her studies."

Home life is hectic, especially at homework time. Vincent often forgets assignments. Sometimes he sits, staring into space, apparently ignoring his studies. Assignments that should take thirty minutes fill hours. Frequently Vincent throws his pencil down, slams his book closed and shouts, "I’m just stupid!"

Sunday Sermon 17-July-2011 - Dr Sandra Nair

Speaker: Dr Sandra Nair
Eagles Height Network

http://www.mediafire.com/?bmwadum1m77anwu

Worship Team 24 July 2011

Chairperson: Dr. Siow KW

Worship leader: Peter Long
Vocalist: Shankar R., Peggy Tan, Gigi Lim
Pianist: Jonathan L
Synth: Meng Fhui
Guitarist: Nigel
Bassist: Darren
Drummer: Khen Fhui

Projectionist: Joseph Yap

PA Personnel: Hiew FF, Tommy Q.

The Encouraging Family

Diane has some great thoughts on imparting encouragement. Enjoy!

The second semester was less than a week away when I found myself in the headmistress’ office at our boys’ school. "Since one of our teachers had to return to the United States for emergency surgery," she said, "we need to rearrange the teaching assignments. We can’t find anyone to teach Computer Keyboarding. Would you teach it for us?"

Earlier in my life my response would have been, "Me? You want me to teach Computer Keyboard? I’m not a qualified teacher. I didn’t take a typing course because my aptitude tests showed that I wouldn’t do well at office work. I don’t like new challenges and besides, I’ll never remember the students’ names!"

Instead of that response I found myself excited by the challenge. After asking a few questions about the curriculum and the equipment, I accepted the assignment. What made the difference? Why did I accept this new challenge when only a few years earlier I would have run from it?

Loved by a Faithful God

by Max Lucado

“I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ. . . .”
Philippians 3:8

Peer through the small window in the wall of the Roman jail. See the man in chains? The aging fellow with the stooped shoulders and hawkish nose? That’s Paul, the imprisoned apostle. His chains never come off. The guards never leave. And he’s probably wondering if he’ll ever get out. . . .

By the time we find Paul in his cell, he has been beaten, lied about, storm tossed, rejected, and neglected.

Ah, but at least he has the church. At least he can take comfort in the thought of the unified Roman congregation he helped strengthen, right? Hardly. The Roman church is in trouble. . . . Power-hungry preachers occupy the parsonage. You expect such antics out of nonbelievers, but Christians preaching for personal gain? Paul is facing Prozac-level problems. . . .

Positive Encouragement

The Race

It’s Track and Field Day at the international school. The high school boys line up for the 1600 meter race. At the sharp, "Crack!" of the starter’s gun the runners explode from the starting line, each boy straining to get the maximum results from his body. Sixteen hundred meters later, one would win, one would be the fastest, the best. Four others would lose, though they may have trained and competed just as well.

The favorites in this race were an Australian boy and a Singaporean. Both ran well, and the race was close. But with a final charge the Australian overtook the Singaporean, winning by a nose. Cheers! Joy! Disappointment. You find them all at the finish line.

The mother of that second-place boy publically chided him and rebuked her son because he didn’t win. The sight saddened us. As if losing wasn’t bad enough, he also had to endure his mother’s scorn. Why did she treat him so harshly? Perhaps she thought it would help her son become a better person or motivate him to excel. After all, doesn’t everyone know that (as some Asians have told us) "if you say good, bad will happen?"

Love Languages - Part 2

by Dr. Gary Chapman

9. Do the love languages work in other cultures?

Since my academic background is anthropology, this was my question when the Spanish publisher came first and requested permission to translate and publish the book in Spanish. I initially said, “I don’t know if this concept works in Spanish. I discovered it in the Anglo setting.” The publisher said, “We have read the book and it works in Spanish.” So I was glad to know the book was to be translated and published in Spanish. Then came the French edition, the German, the Dutch, etc. In almost every culture, the book has become the bestseller of the publisher. This leads me to believe that these five fundamental ways of expressing love are universal.

However, the dialects in which these languages are spoken will differ from culture to culture. For example, the kind of touches that are appropriate in one culture may not be appropriate in another culture. The Acts of Service that are spoken in one culture may not be spoken in another culture. But when these cultural adaptations are made, the concept of the five love languages will have a profound impact upon the couples in that culture.

The Attack of the Porn Monster

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

If you or someone you know is battling sexual temptation, take these five steps toward GRACE.

This week my wife and I ministered to a group of 115 Russian teenagers at a youth camp in Virginia. Part of our job was to separate the guys and the girls and facilitate honest (and sometimes awkward) discussions about sex, dating and guy/girl relationships. They put their anonymous questions in a black box (“How do I know if she’s the one for me?” or “Is it OK to use condoms?”), and we answered while the kids giggled nervously.

I spoke to the guys on the first night about what I call the Porn Monster, using the description of the adulterous woman in Proverbs 7 as my text. In this passage the writer recounts the sad story of a vulnerable young man who wanders into the wrong part of town where a harlot seduces him. The story concludes with these haunting words: “Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways … for many are the victims she has cast down” (Prov. 7:25-26).

"I’ve prayed with many brothers who struggle with this monster, and in some cases the porn has been a gateway to worse sins. Is there a way of escape from it?"

Positive Discipline, II

(In case you missed the first part of Positive Discipline, read it now.)

We can learn how to warn our children and enforce those warnings, no matter what our temperament is, or theirs. The key is to not allow yourself to become a passive parent. Here are some strategies that will help:

Be Definite in Your Warning

Indefinite warnings are wasted warnings. As an example,. which one of these parents will get the best results:

• Parent number one: "John, don’t be so naughty. If you don’t straighten up, you’re going to get it!"
• Parent number two: "Susie, do not hit your brother. If you hit your brother again, you will sit on your time out chair for ten minutes. Do you understand?"

If you picked the second warning, you are right. Little Susie will get the message. If she doesn’t, her parents will know exactly what to do.

Love Languages - Part 1

by Dr. Gary Chapman

1. What if I cannot discover my primary love language?

“I’ve taken The Love Language Profile and my scores come out almost even except for Receiving Gifts. I know that is not my primary love language.”

In the book, I discuss three approaches to discovering your love language.

• First, observe how you most often express love to others. If you are regularly doing acts of service for others, this may be your love language. If you are consistently, verbally affirming people, then Words of Affirmation is likely your love language.

• What do you complain about most often? When you say to your spouse, “I don’t think you would ever touch me if I did not initiate it,” you are revealing that Physical Touch is your love language. When your spouse goes on a business trip and you say, “You didn’t bring me anything?” you are indicating that Receiving Gifts is your language. The statement, “We don’t ever spend time together,” indicates the love language of Quality Time. Your complaints reveal your inner desires. (If you have difficulty remembering what you complain about most often, I suggest that you ask your spouse. Chances are they will know.)

• What do you request of your spouse most often? If you are saying “Will you give me a back rub?” you are asking for Physical Touch. “Do you think we could get a weekend away this month?” is a request for Quality Time. “Would it be possible for you to mow the grass this afternoon?” expresses your desire for Acts of Service. (Your answer to these three questions will likely reveal your primary love language.)

One husband told me that he discovered his love language by simply following the process of elimination. He knew that Receiving Gifts was not his language so that left only four. He asked himself, “If I had to give up one of the four, which one would I give up first?” His answer was Quality Time. “Of the three remaining, if I had to give up another, which one would I give up?” He concluded that apart from sexual intercourse, he could give up Physical Touch. He could get along without the pats and hugs and holding hands. This left Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. While he appreciated the things his wife did for him, he knew that her affirming words were really what gave him life. He could go a whole day on a positive comment from her. Thus, Words of Affirmation was his primary love language and Acts of Service his secondary love language.

Positive Discipline

Unruly Children Need a Warning
The word unruly describes those who break the rules or ignore the rules. It refers to willful disobedience. An unruly person chooses to do wrong, though he knows what is right. Such behavior requires a clear, understandable, enforceable warning, and appropriate consequences if the child ignores the warning.

Many Americans love snow skiing. Thousands of all ages ride to the tops of the mountains then glide, race, or sometimes tumble down the slopes. Unfortunately, every year people injure themselves seriously, or even die in skiing accidents.

The resorts establish and mark certain areas as out-of-bounds because they know of dangers the skiers would not see. They also have ski patrols who watch for any out-of-control skiers. A ski patrolman told me there are two common reasons for accidents: skiing out of control and skiing out of bounds.

Worship Team 17 July 2011

Chairperson: Liong KC

Worship Leader: Kai Yew
Vocalist: Siew Pin, Hong Lu, Foong Yee

Pianist: Jocelyn Lee
Synth: Jacinta Lee
Guitar: Weng Ern
Bass: Ken Fhui
Drummer: Anna Sim

Projectionist: Terry C.

PA Personnel: Tommy Q., Manjit Singh

Loved with a Steadfast Love

by Max Lucado

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22–23 RSV

Jeremiah was depressed, as gloomy as a giraffe with a neck ache. Jerusalem was under siege, his nation under duress. His world collapsed like a sand castle in a typhoon. He faulted God for his horrible emotional distress. He also blamed God for his physical ailments. “He [God] has made my flesh and my skin waste away, and broken my bones” (Lam. 3:4 RSV).

His body ached. His heart was sick. His faith was puny. . . . He realized how fast he was sinking, so he shifted his gaze. “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him’ ” (vv. 21–24 RSV).

FAQ : Family

by Dr. Gary Chapman

1. How do I encourage my husband to be a spiritual leader?

First, you need to clarify what you mean by “spiritual leader”. If he were a spiritual leader, what would he be doing? How would you recognize that he was a spiritual leader? Until you can answer these questions, the idea of “spiritual leader” is too nebulous to be meaningful.

Once you know what you would like to see in your husband as a spiritual leader, then let me suggest the following principles as you seek change:

Men respond positively to praise. Look for something he is doing right and express appreciation. Telling him about his failures does not motivate him to change.

Requests are more productive than demands. “Would you read this devotional for us before Mary goes to bed?” is likely to get better results than, “If you don’t start reading the Bible to Mary she is going to grow up and become a pagan.”

A husband who has a full “love tank” is more easily motivated to make positive changes. Make sure you know your husband’s “primary love language” and speak it often. If he genuinely feels your love, he will be more open to your requests.

For additional help see The Family You’ve Always Wanted.

Sunday Sermon 10-July-2011 - Ps Lydia Karthigesu

Speaker: Pastor Lydia Karthigesu
The Tabernacle, Seremban

http://www.mediafire.com/?zgkkioz2z725zxr

Positive Parenting

Welcome to the Positive Parenting series. First, a word about the title.

Positive is of course, the opposite of negative. Are there really negative parents? Sadly, yes. Bound by fears, frustrations, and a sense of failure, these parents adopt a negative parenting style. The result is often not what they hoped for. Their kids grow up to be negative themselves, and so the cycle goes on.

Positive also means purposeful, confident, and focused. We have seen far too many parents who, instead of being positively involved with their children, approach parenting without any purpose, focus, or confidence.

God can make you a better parent than you are.

The great news for parents is this: God can make you a better parent than you are, and you will like it! So will your kids, and so will all the people that interact with your kids: teachers, neighbors, extended family members now; employers, spouses, neighbors and friends later.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

• if you are interested to join the "Climb Kepayang Hill" team, please contact: Sis. Peggy or Sis. Priscilla Sim
• it happens on Sundays, 5pm.

FAQ : Marriage

by Dr. Gary Chapman

1. How can I get him to really talk to me?

Take “baby steps”. Don’t overwhelm him by saying, “I wish you’d talk more.” He can’t respond positively to that. It comes across as condemnation. Begin by asking questions, little questions, and be content to get little answers. He has to crawl before he can walk. When he gets used to hearing his own voice, then he can talk more.

Become a good listener. When he talks, give him your undivided attention. Don’t respond to his ideas with condemnation. Rather, say, “That’s an interesting idea, how do you think that would work if we applied it to our lives?” Give him your opinion, only if he asks for it. If he finds that he gets a sermon every time he shares an idea, he will stop sharing his ideas.

After a few weeks, try the following: 1. Ask if he would be willing to have a daily “sharing time” in which each of you shared two things that happened in your lives today and how you feel about them. If he complains that these times are taking too long, then set time limits, such as no more than ten minutes each. 2. Try sharing a book. Find a book that you think would be of interest to him and ask if he would be willing to read a chapter each week and you will read the same chapter. At the end of the week, each of you will share with the other one thing you liked or learned from the chapter.

Above all, don’t condemn him for not talking. Create a climate where it is safe for him to talk. For further help see Desperate Marriages, chapter seven, “The Uncommunicative Spouse”.

Working Together with Your Spouse

by Dr. Gary Chapman

One of the issues that I deal with almost every week is the challenges associated with spouses working together. (If you do not work together in a business setting, do not "check out" yet - these issues occur for virtually all couples, because you have to "work together" at home - either doing projects, making meals, managing the finances, doing fix-up projects, etc.)

Virtually all couples who work together, in business or just in their combined lives together, seem to face common challenges. Here are some of the most common themes I observe (or experience personally):

NECF Malaysia 40-Day Fast & Prayer

Theme for 40-Day Fast & Prayer 2011
"Be Agents of Change"


from August 7 to September 15, 2011.


Email: prayer@necf.org.my
Phone: +603-7727 8227
Website:
http://www.necf.org.my
http://facebook.com/necfmalaysia
http://twitter.com/necfmalaysia

Justice, Judgmentalism and the Casey Anthony Verdict

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

Her “not guilty” verdict made a lot of people mad. But before we vent any more anger we may need an attitude check.

Where were you on July 5 when the Casey Anthony verdict was released? Just before the 2:15 p.m. announcement, I was in a restaurant in Orlando with my family—and our waitress was so anxious to hear the outcome of the trial that she brought up the topic after we ordered our lunch. Not since the 1995 O.J. Simpson trial have Americans invested so much emotional energy in a courtroom drama.

Because I live near Orlando where the trial was held, I’ve grown weary of the never-ending local news coverage, which included stories on how much Casey was allowed to spend on toiletries every week at the Orange County jail and how long out-of-town visitors waited in line to get tickets to the trial. I remember when 2-year-old Caylee Anthony went missing in 2008. I remember when her decomposed remains were found six months later in some woods near her home. I listened to the blur of reports about duct tape, the suspicious odor in the trunk of the car, the chloroform, and her mother’s partying habits.

“Before you spend any more time analyzing the evidence, complaining about the jury or judging Casey’s motives, ask God to touch her. Could God have actually been involved in this unexpected verdict to give Casey more time to discover Him?”

The Church’s Answer to Immorality – Part One

by Mark Gungor

Go to almost any church in America and sit for an entire year of Sunday morning services. Odds are great that you will not hear the subjects of sex, sexual purity, or sexual morality mentioned. If by some chance a pastor has the cojones to talk about sex at all, most often it will be couched in code using the words “intimacy” or “marital relations”. Most churches don’t teach it, preach it or talk about it because they are afraid to offend someone with the word s-e-x and The Church is a mess today because of it.

Make no mistake about it, the group of people we are failing the most in all this is our youth. Young men and women from a very early age are inundated by millions of sexual messages from our media and culture, yet The Church remains silent and says nothing to combat the plague. Fornication, cohabitation, STDs, pornography use, and out of wedlock births are all occurring in churches at nearly the same rate as the un-churched world. Isn’t that just great?!

It seems to me most people think that remaining sexually pure, remaining abstinent is “the ideal”, a really great thing if you can manage to pull it off, but certainly not required. A lot of Christians say that young people should not have sex outside of marriage, but they also say that remaining pure isn’t realistic; kids are going to have sex no matter what.

Help! I'm Married to a Pharisee

We waste so much of our happiness arguing over petty differences. Like Jesus told the Pharisees, we strain at gnats and swallow camels. It's a funny picture, isn't it? In those days a man would pour his wine through a fine cloth (like the tea sock used in Asian coffee shops) to remove the smallest foreign particle. Yet, Jesus said, that same man was swallowing a camel, something many times bigger. The point was clear. They argued over petty matters, but neglected the issues that mattered most.

I see the same attitude in troubled marriages. One or both partners forget what is most important. They become obsessed with details, using their partner's small failures or oversights to shift the attention from their own major problems.

I know a man (we'll call him Simon) who is married to a difficult woman. Simon's wife, (let's call her Felicia), continually punishes him for small failures. Does he forget a request or overlook a task? He will surely hear about it. His wife excels at faultfinding, and she doesn't do it quietly.

FAQ : Parenting

by Dr. Gary Chapman

1. I really feel strongly about certain types of discipline with our children, but my husband just laughs it off and does not support me. How do I handle this situation?

Disagreements over styles of discipline are fairly common for one simple reason: we each grew up in different families. We tend to discipline like our parents did, or if we believe that they treated us unfairly, we tend to do the opposite of what our parents did.

How do we resolve these differences? It is not likely that you will ever totally agree on this matter, but you can find a workable solution. It begins by each of you making a list of the basic rules you think you should have for the child and what the consequences should be if these rules are broken. With these lists in hand, you have a parental conference in which the two of you work through your lists. Check off the ones on which you agree and negotiate agreement on the others. Both must be willing to find common ground. Don’t insist that your way is the only way. With these in place, it is then a matter of making sure the child understands the rules and the consequences, and consistently applying the discipline when rules are broken. Kindness, but firmness, is the key in applying discipline.

An Invitation

Dear Brothers & Sisters.

We have heard many messages, read many books, bought many souvenirs that emphasize the need for prayer. Our church has regular meetings for Prayer ( Sunday Pre-Service Prayer, Wednesday Prayer Meetings and Saturday Morning Watches).

Presently, the participation for these meetings has been stagnant, with the same faces from the same age groups. There may be various reasons for this: unsuitable time/venue, baby sitting/children's needs, etc. 

As announced in the past two Sundays, we have reinvented the Morning Watches to enable everyone to join in. There are currently three Zones with (prayerfully and hopefully) more on the way. At present, the suggested time is 8 - 9am but the group can make adjustments if necessary.

• Zone 1: Rasah Kemayan (Michael & Jenny Lim) - Seremban 2 and surrounding areas
• Zone 2: Bukit Jed ( Liong KC & Karen) - Templer, Temiang and surrounding areas
• Zone 3: Taman Bidara (Christine Doray) - Rahang, Paroi, Ampangan and surrounding areas

We would like to encourage more members of all age groups to join us in prayer and intercession for the world, the region, the nation (Malaysia), the church and so on.

We would like to encourage the Young Adults, Youth and Children to come and participate and learn to pray.

The keywords here are "encourage", "all age groups" and "prayer".

Thank you.

New King James Version (NKJV) Isaiah 56:7 Even them I will bring to My holy mountain, And make them joyful in My house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices Will be accepted on My altar; For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.” 

Theme 2009 / 2011

Building Godly Family Relationships

Spiritual Intimacy

The Power Core

All your life as a couple will be influenced by the vitality and centrality of your spiritual life. Because of that, your relationship with God should be more than a compartment of your marriage, like one room in your house. Your relationship with God should be the core of your lives and the core of your marriage.

It’s like the nucleus of an atom. The nucleus keeps the particles that surround it in their proper orbits. Without it, there is no atom. Likewise, our connection with God holds the facets of our lives together in proper balance. Then every part of our marriage will show the transforming power and influence of our relationship with God through Christ Jesus.

But we must choose, for having our relationship with God at the center of our life and our marriage doesn’t happen automatically.

Worship Team 10 July 2011

Chairperson: Caleb R.

Worship leader: Peggy Tan
Vocalist: Gigi Lim, Jocelyn C., Colleen

Pianist: Prisca Sim
Synth: Meng Fhui
Guitarist: Terry C.
Bass: Niger
Drummer: Darren

Projectionist: Moses Tan

PA Personnel: Hiew FF, Tommy Q

Sunday Sermon 3-July-2011 - Ps Dave van den Berg

Speaker: Pastor Dave van den Berg
Missionary To Russia

http://www.mediafire.com/?50hdednb4crytrd

Ladies Fellowship 2-July-2011 - Ps Lydia Karthigesu

Speaker: Pastor Lydia Karthigesu
The Tabernacle, Seremban

Session 1:
http://www.mediafire.com/?4ho486jlh8y34s2

Session 2:
http://www.mediafire.com/?sdho2yor601r1xc

Forgiveness

Let’s update an old nursery rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown . . .
And Jill never let him forget how clumsy he was!

Poor Jack! He needed a wife who would comfort him, but instead he got pounded. Who knows why? Maybe his accident (and the resulting trip to the emergency room) interrupted an appointment at the beauty salon. Maybe his clumsiness had always embarrassed her. Who knows?

Every husband needs a forgiving wife, every wife a forgiving husband. The reason is obvious: we need forgiving because we make mistakes. That would explain two interesting facts in the Bible:

Thump-Thud, Thump-Thud

by Max Lucado

When a potter bakes a pot, he checks its solidity by pulling it out of the oven and thumping it. If it “sings,” it’s ready. If it “thuds,” it’s placed back in the oven.

The character of a person is also checked by thumping. Been thumped lately?

Late-night phone calls. Grouchy teacher. Grumpy moms. Burnt meals. Flat tires. You’ve-got-to-be-kidding deadlines. Those are thumps. Thumps are those irritating inconveniences that trigger the worst in us. They catch us off guard. Flat-footed. They aren’t big enough to be crises, but if you get enough of them, watch out! Traffic jams. Long lines. Empty mailboxes. Dirty clothes on the floor. Even as I write this, I’m being thumped. Because of interruptions, it has taken me almost two hours to write these two paragraphs. Thump. Thump. Thump.

How do I respond? Do I sing? Or do I thud?

Why Bishop Eddie Long Should Be Transparent

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

The church has had enough spin, denial and closed-door settlements. Leaders must demonstrate humility and repentance.

A few years ago a minister in my city went through a divorce, and the messy details of the settlement between the pastor and his wife were reported in our newspaper. But when the divorce was finalized there was no public statement. The man’s wife disappeared from the stage, her photo vanished from the church website and nothing further was said. Zip. Nada. No comment.

The message: It’s none of your business what happened between the pastor and his wife. He’s the anointed messenger of God. Just follow him.

“People who talk out of both sides of their mouths certainly cannot preach an uncompromised gospel. And liars cannot be trusted to give us the truth.”

Snowball Your Way Out of Debt

There are many ways to get out of debt. Some are helpful; some are actually harmful. One strategy that often fails is debt consolidation. In our opinion there is always a better way.

Debt consolidation looks so appealing, but there are some dangers. You will possibly end up paying a much higher rate for a much longer term, so it costs you dearly. Also, debt consolidation can backfire if you look at your new, low monthly payment and decide that you can afford to make some other purchases on credit. Then you repeat the cycle that got you into financial bondage in the first place.

Remember that there are companies out there who seem to be offering you help, but in reality they are just increasing your financial bondage and their profits.

A far better system is one that helps you develop discipline and contentment while giving you the satisfaction of seeing your debt load steadily decrease. That is the beauty of the Snowball. I must tell you that we do not know who first came up with this plan or the name for it, but whoever it is we thank them! Many people have been helped by it.

Mastering Money, Part 2

Defeating the Debt Monster

If you are already in financial bondage, you will need to take some decisive steps toward freedom. Picture yourself in a deep hole. Here's a ladder that will let you climb out.

Step One: Recognize why you are in financial bondage.

Don't blame the economy. You must recognize that the real reason for your financial problems is your own unsound decisions. Times may be difficult, but many people survive difficult financial times because they follow the right principles and make wise resolutions.

Step Two: Do not borrow any more money from any person or any company.

This is a real step of faith shown by action. "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?" (James 2:14) Right actions must accompany faith, not just any actions. If you steadfastly decide not to borrow or buy anything on credit, God will honor your faith and provide honorable ways to meet your needs.

Worship Team 3 July 2011

Chairperson: Hong Lu

Worship Leader: Shankar R.
Back-ups: Siew Pin, Lydia Sim, Foong Yee

Pianist: Meng Fhui
Synth: Jonathan L
Guitarist: Ken Fhui
Bass: Weng Ern
Drummer: Anna Sim

Projectionist: Joseph Yap

PA Personnel: Manjit Singh, Tommy Q.

Sunday Sermon 26-June-2011 - Dr. Lay Kee Neu

Speaker: Dr. Lay Kee Neu
Full Gospel Mission Centre, Jelebu

http://www.mediafire.com/?15nq24z5ogw67dz

Mastering Money

Marriage counselors all agree that money problems are a chief source of marital stress. The following letter to John and Anne, a couple experiencing financial difficulties, gives some good, practical advice to couples about managing their finances. Without a doubt, money matters.

Dear John and Anne,

I hope you'll take this letter in the spirit of love and compassion in which I send it. Ever since I came to know about your financial difficulties, I've been deeply concerned for you. When a friend complained you had borrowed money from him and had not repaid it, I knew the problem was really serious. I soon discovered that you were in debt to many people, sometimes borrowing from one to pay something to the others. That’s quite desperate, wouldn’t you agree?

I want to share some principles with you that will help you recover from your financial snare. Of course, you are not alone. Many, many people find themselves caught in the same net. Like a trapped animal they fight against their bonds, spending all their strength and more than all their money. There is a way out, but it comes by humbly applying God's wisdom, not by frantically scheming.

Judas, The Man Who Never Knew

by Max Lucado

I’ve wondered at times what kind of man this Judas was. What he looked like, how he acted, who his friends were.

I guess I’ve stereotyped him. I’ve always pictured him as a wiry, beady-eyed, sly, wormy fellow, pointed beard and all. I’ve pictured him as estranged from the other apostles.

Friendless. Distant. Undoubtedly he was a traitor and a quisling. Probably the result of a broken home. A juvenile delinquent in his youth.

Yet I wonder if that is so true. We have no evidence (save Judas’s silence) that would suggest that he was isolated. At the Last Supper, when Jesus said that his betrayer sat at the table, we don’t find the apostles immediately turning to Judas as the logical traitor.

Booby Traps and Blowups

It wasn’t a great day for the Wilson marriage. Ninety-nine percent of their days were just wonderful, but this wasn’t one of them. If the day I am talking about had been videotaped, they would certainly want it erased.

It all started with an innocent comment Joyce, the wife, made about a project she and George had been working on. Joyce and their son, Morgan, had found a solution that George had spent hours tracking down. George should have felt happy about the solution. “Good job! That’s great!” That would have been a healthy response. But he didn’t. George became sullen, brooding, even angry. Actually, his reaction surprised him. It wasn’t the way he wanted to act, and he certainly didn’t plan it. His reaction was completely out-of sync with his usual responses. So why did he do it?

George analyzed that for hours. As we discussed the reaction, he said that he felt offended that he was left out. He wanted to feel that he was part of the process, a supplier of answers, a problem-solver. Instead he felt useless. Joyce and Morgan surely didn’t need his help. They had it all figured out.

Keep On Praying—a Breakthrough Is Near

  J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

Don’t lose hope. God has promised to answer when we persevere.

So you pray for something for years and then you wake up one day, breathe a big sigh and say to yourself: This is crazy. Nothing is happening. God must not be listening.

Congratulations. If this has been your experience you are not alone. You’ve been enrolled in the School of Persevering Prayer, and it’s not a one-semester class. It’s a lifelong journey designed to stretch your faith, develop your character, purify your motives, test your patience and increase your capacity to know and experience God’s amazing love.

“Have you ever been around a woman in her ninth month of pregnancy? She is often in a state of agitation—ready to give birth but weary of the strain. I know many Christians today who are in this same uncomfortable stage of spiritual travail.”

At Least Get Paid for It!

by Mark Gungor

There is a misconception, a mistaken way of thinking among Christians when it comes to having sex outside of marriage. Here is what many people think:

• The best circumstance to have sex in is within the bounds of matrimony or if you are not married, to remain sexually pure.
• The next best scenario is having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend…but while you really shouldn’t do it, most people will give a pass to those who do. Because after all, you love each other, it’s just so difficult to wait; you can’t really control yourselves when you feel so strongly about one another.
• Then the lowest and most unacceptable sex (in most people’s minds) is prostitution—those who get paid to engage in sexual acts.

But that’s not actually how the list goes…at least according to the scripture in Ezekiel 16. Here God is chastising the nation of Israel for their unfaithfulness. And He uses the analogy of prostitutes when He says:

Get Out of Jail Free

Do you ever associate two or more thoughts or events that are completely unrelated? When we do that we will always arrive at faulty conclusions. Faulty conclusions frustrate relationships.

A friend of mine received a pretty severe reprimand at his work. It was an unpleasant experience for him, but he bore up under it. The next day his powerful computer was missing form his desk. His manager told him someone else needed it and assured him there was no connection to the reprimand.

Now my friend had a choice: either believe the two incidents were unrelated, or make a wrong connection. He chose to believe his manager. By leaving the two events unconnected he prevented friction from developing. Had he believed that the two events were connected, regardless of his boss's assurances, he would have reported to work everyday with a cloud over his head.

You're In The Jailhouse Now

Mark comes home from work. He’s tired, so he doesn't greet his wife, Sally, with much enthusiasm. That morning she awoke late, causing more tension than usual in their morning routine. Sally makes a connection between those two separate incidents. Watch the process:

Announcement: Morning Watch

Dear All,

Morning Watch:
The present Morning Watch in church has been marked by poor response for church members due to reasons of their own. There were people attending but more often than not it was poorly attended.

I am informing you that Bro. Liong and Bro. Michael Lim have graciously opened their homes for morning watches w.e.f. 2nd. July, 2011 between 8-9am.

• Zone 1 will be handle by Michael Lim at S2 and surrounding areas.
• Zone 2 will be handle by Liong KC at Bukit Jade and surrounding areas.
• If God wills we will like to open one at Blossom Heights and surrounding areas.

 Members of the church can contact Bro. Michael and Bro. Liong as to whether their watches are on or cancelled. We will have a briefing as to what should take place at our morning watches.Why are the people not attending? I could think of the following reasons:

• Time not suitable.
• Venue not suitable.
• Do not want to get the children up early as it is the only day in a week that children can sleep abit longer.
• Working people after 5 days of getting up early would like to sleep also for a bit longer.

The morning watches can only be conducted in homes that have air-condition since we do not want to disturb the neighbours by our singing and speaking in tongue. Morning Watches can be cancelled when the majority of the members within the group decides to do so. We want maximum participation. There is strength in numbers. 

Music & Worship Duty Roster

Please get it here

The ABCs of Healthy Communication

The human body needs basic elements to thrive and last. So does your marriage. With these qualities, expression and understanding thrive. Without them, they die.

Accept Each Other

Acceptance means taking one another just as you are. The English word even comes from a Latin word that means, literally, to take to oneself. Accepting your spouse doesn’t mean you totally approve of every action or attitude. But it does mean we’re on the same team, and glad of it.

Team members know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Rather than wishing they were on another team, they learn to recognize their strengths and build on them, while strengthening their weaknesses.

The difference in winning and losing is often more about attitude than it is about ability. Sure, other people might have an easier time building a great marriage. They may have strengths that you and your spouse don’t naturally possess. But you are not other people. God knows how to bring you fulfillment, no matter what your flaws are.

Happy Fathers' Day 2011!!

Worship Team 26 June 2011

Chairperson: Dr. Siow KW

Worship leader: Prisca Sim
Vocalist: Lareina, Colleen, Peggy Tan

Pianist: Lydia Sim
Synth: Jocelyn Lee
Guitar: Weng Ern
Bass: Anna Sim
Drums: Ken Fhui

Projectionist: Moses Tan
PA Personnel: Tommy Q, Hiew FF.

Sunday Sermon 19-June-2011 - Bro Liong Kam Chong

Speaker: Bro Liong Kam Chong
White Fields Assembly Seremban

http://www.mediafire.com/?zoalaj6vxlb1l4b

Making Sex a Mutual Joy

Not Taboo

Contrary to the opinion of some, sex is not a topic that God finds taboo. In fact, sex was God's idea. He created us male and female and He instituted marriage with the intent that two would become 'one flesh'. Why then do so many couples fail to find satisfaction in this important area of marriage? I want to suggest one major reason: Unrealistic expectations.

Films, magazines, and novels convey the idea that sexual thrill and mutual satisfaction are automatic. That is simply not true. God told Israel that a young couple should 'take a year' and learn to pleasure each other. What makes us think that we can do so in less time?

The Truth About Sex

Some Christians have a negative attitude toward sex. It may have come from a distorted sex education, an unfortunate sexual experience as a child, or sexual involvement as a teenager that brought disappointment and guilt. The origin is relatively unimportant. The important thing is to understand that we choose our attitudes.

The first step in overcoming a negative attitude is exposure to the truth. The truth about sex is that within marriage it is God ordained and designed to bring mutual pleasure. As in all of life we are called to live by the truth. We admit our negative attitudes and feelings, but we don't serve them. With the help of God we live according to His revealed truth.

Expression and Understanding

The Keys to Communication

Walter, a psychologist, makes his living by helping hurting people. Although Walter cares about the people who come to him, he has learned to care without becoming emotionally involved. It's the only way he can survive the constant stream of critical problems that he faces every day. If he didn't practice a little detachment, he would burn out faster than a cheap candle.

Walter has a wonderful wife, Sharon. Sharon wants Walter (this man who makes his living by listening, understanding, and communicating) to pay some attention to her. However, she needs his attention as a husband, not as a professional. When Sharon has an emotional need, Walter responds calmly and logically, just like he does with his clients. That drives Sharon crazy. She thinks that Walter, the professional counselor, can understand just about anyone but her. She doesn't resent the people he helps. She just wishes Walter would give her more of himself than what he gives his clients.

Today I Will Make a Difference

by Max Lucado

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It’s OK to stumble… . I will get up. It’s OK to fail… . I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.

Today I will make a difference.

From Shaped by God (original title: On the Anvil)

Copyright (Tyndale House, 1985, 2002) Max Lucado

Releasing Liberty in Romania’s Traditional Churches

 J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

In a nation known for communist oppression, intimidation and religious legalism, the Holy Spirit is sending a fresh wind of freedom.

Pentecost is a national holiday in Romania, and I celebrated it last Monday with members of Bucharest Christian Center, a growing congregation in the Romanian capital. The church was founded by my friend Ioan Ceuta, 54, a brave Christian leader who has served as president of the Assemblies of God since 1996. Like so many Romanian pastors who lived through the communist era, Ceuta has walked through fire and emerged stronger in his faith.

Ministry was not easy for Ceuta and his wife, Emilia, during the dark days of Nicolae Ceauşescu, the Romanian dictator who ruled with an iron fist and built one of the world’s largest buildings (second only to the Pentagon). Covert government informants strictly monitored all pastors during Ceauşescu’s era. The construction of church buildings was forbidden, frequency of meetings was limited, and Bibles were blacklisted as “mystical literature.”

“Because of Ceuta’s influence, about 10 percent of the ministers in the Assemblies of God in Romania are women. ‘Romanian ladies are gifted with a potential [for] leadership I have seen in few places in the world,’ ” Ceuta says.

The Tough Lover

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. -Wilson Mizner

What that quotation says about life, we might just as well say about marriage. Strong marriages are always the result of the sustained efforts of determined people. Yes, a mediocre marriage can continue for many years, but what is it worth? We need toughness to build truly successful relationships.

What is toughness, and why does every marriage need it and require it? The dictionary defines tough as . . . strong and durable; capable of great endurance; sturdy; hardy. Men and women who have those characteristics build the best marriages, because marriage is much more than romantic emotions or good intentions. A healthy, lasting marriage requires tough, determined, endurance.

Not all strength is what it seems. How often have you heard someone described as a strong person, only to find, when you meet this person, that he or she is really inflexible, demanding, and manipulative? That's not a strong person you met; that's a person hiding weaknesses and fears under a hard shell.

Affirm Your Spouse

Affirm is a great word. In Latin it means to make firm, to strengthen. Applied to facts, it means to add our testimony to the fact to strengthen it. With people, it is similar. When we speak to them in a way that makes them stronger, firmer, more resolute, we are affirming them.

"Dear brothers and sisters, we always thank God for you, as is right, for we are thankful that your faith is flourishing and you are all growing in love for each other." –2 Thessalonians 1:3 (NLT)

Mighty messenger he was, but Paul always had the heart of a father when writing to the young churches. Habitually, he began his letters with affirmation.

Affirmation is a testimony to the truth. It isn’t flattery, for flattery has a self-serving motive. Affirmation is all about strengthening someone else. Your reward will be in knowing how much it has helped.

The Tenderhearted Lover

Some people think that tenderness is a synonym for weakness. Perhaps that is what the author of one book on management had in mind. She suggests that the way to get ahead is to never let anything reach your heart. At least, never let anyone see that it does. Be ruthless. Be aloof. That philosophy makes tenderness a critical weakness. It's also very wrong.

Tenderness makes us responsive to the pleasure or pain of another person. We need tender hearts to have any kind of healthy relationship, whether with friend or spouse. Why, then, do so many married people seem to live in isolation? A chief cause is self-centeredness. Self-centered people only care about what directly affects them. They detach themselves from everything else. In many marriages, that has become the normal condition. Normal, but not healthy.

Developing a tender heart has little connection to personality. True, some people are more emotionally sensitive. I am 100% man, but I cry at poignant moments in movies. Music, whether sung or played, can move me deeply. My heart swells when I hear my nation's anthem. I can go into raptures about a sunrise, though I will see thousands of them in my lifetime. The song of a bird will stop me in my tracks. In short, I am a sensitive man.

Worship Team 19 Jun 2011

Chairperson: Tom C .

Worship Leader: Peter Long
Vocalist: Hong Lu, Foong Yee, Lareina

Pianist: Jonathan L.
Keyboardist: Meng Fhui
Guitarist: Nigel
Bassist: Anna Sim
Drummer: Ken Fhui

Projectionist: Moses Tan

PA Personnel: Manjit Singh, Hiew FF

Sunday Sermon 12-June-2011 - Elder Lim Swee Boon

Speaker: Elder Lim Swee Boon
Chairman Elder & Senior Pastor
White Fields Assembly Seremban

http://www.mediafire.com/?gb9vtv9evgz04cd

The Thankful Lover

My friend’s father had a serious emotional infection. Let’s call it Paralysed Appreciation Disorder, or PAD. He simply could not express thankfulness or appreciation. His wife suffered most from her husband’s disorder. No matter what she did, big or small, her husband would never thank her

Sometimes she tried to force him to express appreciation by doing some distasteful task, like cleaning the mud off his shoes. Still he said nothing. The dear woman didn't want much. She just wanted to know the man she married needed her and appreciated her. Surely every good wife needs that, and deserves it too.

Over the years Ken’s mom became mentally ill, and because of that, unpredictable. Some would say her husband’s lack of appreciation contributed to her illness. It’s possible.

Late in his life, Ken’s dad developed a painful condition that put him in hospital. Ken went to visit his dad one day and found his mother there. She had a big jar of greasy ointment (like Vaseline) which she intended to use to massage her husband’s back. Ken wanted to stop her. Greasing her husband like a pig for roasting could not make him feel any better. Besides, she was crazy right?

The Wedding Prayer

Create in us a love, O Lord.
An eternal love …
Your love.
A love that forgives
any failure,
spans
any distance,
withstands
any tempest.
Create in us a love, O Lord.
A new love.
A fresh love.
A love with the tenderness
of a lamb,
the grandeur
of a mountain,
the strength
of a lion.
And make us one. Intimately one.
As you made a hundred colors into one sunset,
A thousand cedars into one forest,
and countless stars into one galaxy …
make our two hearts as
one,
Father, forever …
that you may be praised, Father,
forever.


From Shaped by God (original title: On the Anvil)
Copyright (Tyndale House, 1985, 2002) Max Lucado

Preparing For Marriage: Part 2

If you missed Part 1, you can read it by clicking here.

What I Know

One evening about six weeks after our wedding, Karolyn and I were engaged in a full-fledged argument. In the midst of the argument, she went to a closet, got her raincoat, slammed the front door and walked out into the pouring rain. My first thought was, "Why doesn't she stay and fight like a man?" My second thought was, "What have I done?"

I wish I'd known how to listen, how to respect her ideas and feelings, how to treat her with love, instead of demanding that she agree with me. There is so much I've learned in our 40 plus years of marriage.

The Thoughtful Lover

Behold, the sunny days of courtship! He calls every day, opens doors for her, takes the long way to take her home each night. He does everything to heap attention on her.

She takes special care to look nice for him, maybe cooks a special meal, and does everything she can to show that she likes his attention. Eventually all that thoughtfulness leads to a proposal, an acceptance, and marriage. Let the lifelong joys begin!

Over the years this couple begins acting very differently. In a hundred little ways they stop living as though they matter to one another. Without thoughtfulness, they live in separate worlds, only touching each other’s lives when necessary, and in some cases actually avoiding each other. Such carelessness is dangerous to any marriage.

Two words help us understand thoughtfulness: consideration and awareness.

A Growing Spiritual Hunger in Hungary

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

The passion for revival I saw in eastern Europe this week rivaled what I have seen in Africa or Asia.

Europe is often described as post-Christian, and some people have already given up on the continent. We’ve heard discouraging statistics about mosques replacing churches in England. We know about dismal numbers of churchgoers in Germany and France. Some people assume that the region that gave us the Protestant Reformation is now a spiritual wasteland.

But that’s not what I found in Hungary this past week. On Sunday I preached to a congregation that meets in what used to be a communist hall in the Budapest suburb of Szigetszentmiklos. The Free Christian Church, a lively Pentecostal group pastored by Josef and Lila Gere, was celebrating its 20th anniversary—and the mayor of the town showed up for the service along with the local minister of religious affairs.

“Blind eyes opening … in Europe? Three-hour worship sessions … in Europe? Churches filled with teenagers and young adults … in Europe? It’s all happening in Hungary, a nation that borders seven other European countries—and could affect them all.”

The congregation was full of young people. The praise team led us in Hillsong choruses translated into Hungarian. A few people raised their hands when I invited those who were not Christians to invite Jesus into their hearts.

Commitment Testers

Come to a wedding with me. Flowered archways and candles adorn the church. Music plays softly. Friends and family fill every seat. The wedding party enters. Expectation rises with the music as the bridegroom, and all present, await the arrival of the woman who will join him in marriage.

Down the aisle she comes, a picture of beauty touched with hope, and a just a trace of anxiety. She joins her husband-to-be at the altar, there to make their vows of commitment in the presence of their friends, their family, and God.

With solemn words, the bride and groom make a mutual, lifelong commitment to their marriage and to each other. If they live another fifty years, they will have more than 18,250 days to prove their commitment. 18,250 days! That's a life sentence!

God Thinks You're Wonderful! by Max Lucado

God is fond of you.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

If He had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

Face it, friend. He's crazy about you.

By the way, it may be difficult for you

to believe that God knows your name...

but He does.

Written on His hand.

Spoken by His mouth.

Whispered by His lips.

Your name.

I have written your name on my hand. Isaiah 49:16

You Can Have a Delightful Marriage

Alan and Mary have been married ten years. For most of their marriage, neither of them has felt happy or fulfilled. They seem to be trapped in the grip of a joyless routine. Their marriage isn't exactly bad, but their marriage is flat, like old Coca-Colathat has lost its sparkle. They endure their marriage, like one endures a gloomy room on a rainy day. The sunshine seems gone forever.

It wasn’t always this way. The early years of marriage held many challenges, but they always found ways to keep their marriage enjoyable. Not now. Now they can’t remember the last time they had a good laugh together. By degrees their marriage has become a little more dreary and a little less delightful. They only see each other at the end of a long and busy day. They seldom talk, and seldom smile either. Alan and Mary don’t have a bad marriage, exactly, just a dull one.

In some parts of the American West, and in most of the Australian outback, you can drive for hundreds of miles, on perfectly straight roads, through a featureless landscape. Nothing unexpected, nothing interesting, nothing but you, the car, and the long, long road. After a few hundred kilometers you start craving something, anything, different and exciting. That is precisely how Alan and Mary feel about their relationship.

Worship Team 12 Jun 2011

Chairperson: Caleb R.

Worship Leader: Shankar R
Vocalist: Jocelyn C, Colleen, Meng Fhui

Pianist: Grace Lee
Keyboardist: Prisca Sim
Guitarist: Terry C.
Bassist: Ken Fhui
Drummer: Darren

Projectionist: Joseph Yap

PA Personnel: Hiew FF, Tommy Q.

Sunday Sermon 5-June-2011 - Ps Ang Siew Khim

Speaker: Pastor Ang Siew Khim
River Of Life Sanctuary, Segambut, Kuala Lumpur

http://www.mediafire.com/?56utg7jkv2md46d

Restoring Trust

Marriages can die for many reasons. Usually it is not one thing, but a combination that brings a marriage to the point of death. The bottom line is this: marriages die when promise keepers become promise breakers.

The Power of Promises
Someone has observed that life becomes much more restful if we keep our covenant promises. Marriage is a covenant based on mutual promises of lifelong faithfulness.

As I said in an earlier article, our covenant promises are like a fence we build around our marriage. The fence defines our boundaries, keeps us safe, simplifies our lives, and focuses our affection.

But what if we don’t keep our promises? Then, of course, the relationship becomes shaky.Husband and wife feel like two house painters standing on a plank, supported by wobbly ladders. They experience constant tension and unsteadiness. Even worse, broken promises often lead to the total collapse of a marriage.

Preparing For Marriage: Part 1

For a number of years, I have wanted to write a book on preparation for marriage. I really believe that if we can help couples prepare for marriage, then they can be more successful. Let's face it most people spend far more time preparing for their vocation than preparing for their marriage. Perhaps that's why they are more successful in their vocations than in their marriages.

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married is my attempt to help couples get ready for marriage. I looked back on my own life and asked, "What do I know now that I wish I had known then?" I think if someone had told me these things, my marriage would have been much easier. I hope you'll learn from my mistakes.

Euphoric Feelings

Would it surprise you if I told you that "being in-love is not an adequate foundation for marriage?" It is highly possible to 'fall in love' with someone you should not marry. Many couples believe that if they are 'in love' then they will always be 'in love'. The reality is that the 'in love euphoria' last for an average of two years.

Devastated by Death : Max on Life #148

The following is a one of 172 questions and answers from the new book, Max on Life.

QUESTION #148:

The seven-year-old son of our neighbors died last week. They are devastated. So are we. What can we tell them?

God is a good God. We must begin here. Though we don’t understand his actions, we can trust his heart.

God does only what is good. But how can death be good? Some mourners don’t ask this question. When the quantity of years has outstripped the quality of years, we don’t ask how death can be good.

But the father of the dead teenager does. The widow of the young soldier does. The parents of a seven-year-old do. How could death be good?

God and Gender: It’s Really Not Confusing

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

A Canadian couple’s decision to raise a “genderless” child has perplexed me.

I was scratching my head last week after hearing about the couple from Toronto, Canada, who announced they were going to raise a “genderless” child. Kathy Witterick and David Stocker, parents of two boys named Jazz and Kio, had a third child named Storm on New Year’s Day. Witterick announced to her family last month that she intends to keep the child’s gender a secret and let him/her figure it out on his own.

So far mom and dad have not granted interviews, but the mother said in a letter to the Edmonton Journal, published May 30, that letting Storm determine his/her gender was “a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation.”

“Gender is determined by the foreknowledge of God; it is not our choice. He is the Creator, we are the creature; He is the potter, we are the clay. To say that a child is going to “choose” his/her gender is the ultimate in rebellion against God’s created order.”

“Someday soon, Storm will have something to say about it,” the mom added. (And I’m thinking he/she also may grow up resenting its parents for this bizarre decision.)

Trust

It amazes me that experts on marriage talk so little about trust. They discuss compatibility, even administer personality profiles to help a couple see how they match up. All fine, and very worthwhile. When I do pre-marriage counseling I often use the same tools

But if the intent of marriage is to build and maintain a uniquely intimate relationship, trust is more important than any other quality. We simply do not develop intimacy with someone we don't trust. Furthermore, the depth of our intimacy will be in direct proportion to the depth of our trust.

Diane and I met in college and married just after graduation. Both of us felt we were making a good choice, but I wanted to know if there was one quality about me (beside my good looks?) that gave Diane the confidence to marry me. So one day I asked her just why she married me.

Mike & Dianne Constantine

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2011 Family Camp - Pastor Mike Constantine

Speaker: Pastor Mike Constantine

28 MAY 2011
Session 1:
http://www.mediafire.com/?838av8kfd9dqdkz

Session 2:
http://www.mediafire.com/?vnc4e9eld3uro0b

29 MAY 2011
Session 3:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ya7hn7qg1543cxi

Session 4:
http://www.mediafire.com/?f5yay4l7k7ybm2c

30 MAY 2011
Session 5:
http://www.mediafire.com/?bfok2p45prb8dr5