Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking: Joining the Family

Watch the entire first episode of Mark's TV show from the second season! In this episode, Mark and Debbie discuss dating and the idea that when you marry someone, you're joining into a family, if you don't like your future spouse's family, you shouldn't be marrying that person. 

For more information on the show and more of Mark Gungor, please check out our website, http://www.stinkingthinking.tv -

God in Ancient China

Sunday Sermon - 23-Oct-2011 - Ps Lee Hock Cheng

Speaker: Ps. Lee Hock Heng
Missions Director, Full Gospel Assembly KL

http://www.mediafire.com/?lsl6wkxwpr3lkjl

Worship Roster - 30 Oct

CHAIRMAN Lareina Chang
W. LEADER Anna Sim
BACK UPS Rachel Yee, Jacquelina Lim, Bryan Tan
PIANO Lai Meng Fhui
SYNTH Jocelyn Lee
BASS Kenneth Lai
GUITAR Nigel
DRUMS Darren Ooi
TIMBREL Joycelyn / Lareina / Colleen
PROJECTION Timothy C.
PA Jason Lee

A Tender Touch

by Dr. Gary Chapman

Keeping emotional love alive in a marriage makes life much more enjoyable. How do we keep love alive after the "in-love" emotions have evaporated? I believe it is by learning to speak each other's "love language." This week we will focus on physical touch.

For some husbands, when they hear the words physical touch, they immediately think of sex. But sexual intercourse is only one of the dialects of this love language. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or an arm around the shoulder are all ways of expressing love by physical touch.

Physical touch can make or break a marital relationship. Do you know how to speak this love language? To the spouse whose primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than your tender touches. You may give them words of affirmation or gifts, but nothing communicates love like physical touch. 

Touches may be explicit and call for your full attention, such as a back rub or sexual foreplay. They can be implicit and require only a moment, such as putting your hand on his shoulder as you pour a cup of coffee. Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination. Kiss when you get in the car. It may greatly enhance your travels. Give a hug before you go shopping. You may hear less griping when you return. Remember, you are learning to speak a new language.

When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness. This is especially true if the primary love language of your spouse is physical touch. You may say, "What if I'm just not a toucher? I didn't grow up in a touchy-feely family." The good news is that you can learn to speak this love language. It can begin with a pat on the back, or putting your hand on their leg as you sit together on the couch.

Almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another. Why? During these times, we need to feel loved more than anything. All marriages will experience crises. Disappointments are a part of life. The most important thing you can do for your wife in a time of crisis is to love her. If her primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries. Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. In a time of crisis, a hug is worth more than a thousand words. Physical touch is a powerful love language.

GET SOCIAL: Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook at facebook.com/5lovelanguages

God Will Come For You

by Max Lucado

“I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: ‘Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They’re his people, he’s their God’” (Rev. 21:3 MSG). The narrator makes the same point four times in four consecutive phrases:

“God has moved into the neighborhood”

“making his home with men and women”

“They’re his people”

“he’s their God”

The announcement comes with the energy of a six-year-old declaring the arrival of his father from a long trip. “Daddy’s home! He’s here! Mom, he’s back!” One statement won’t suffice. This is big news worthy of repetition. We shall finally see God face-to-face. “They shall see His face” (Rev. 22:4 NKJV).

Let this sink in. You will see the face of God. You will look into the eyes of the One who has always seen; you will behold the mouth that commands history. And if there is anything more amazing than the moment you see his face, it’s the moment he touches yours. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes” (Rev. 21:4 NCV).

God will touch your tears. Not flex his muscles or show off his power. Lesser kings would strut their stallions or give a victory speech. Not God. He prefers to rub a thumb across your cheek as if to say, “There, there…no more tears.

Isn’t that what a father does? 

From: God’s Story, Your Story

Copyright (Zondervan, 2011) Max Lucado

Don’t Let Your Pulpit Be Defiled

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

Visiting ministers can be a great blessing to any church. But if you don’t do your homework, you could be inviting disaster.

A friend of mine recently told me that the leaders of a ministry invited a prominent American preacher to speak at a conference. During discussions about the engagement, the preacher’s handlers explained two of the terms of his visit: (1) he was always to be addressed as “apostle” by anyone who spoke to him; and (2) he was to be ushered out of the auditorium and into a green room immediately after he delivered his sermon, to guarantee that he would not have to fraternize with the audience. He needed his privacy.

If I had been on the other end of the telephone conversation that day, I would have offered this reply: “Please tell Apostle Arrogance that since he is so concerned about being bothered by the little people, never mind. Just don’t come. We don’t need the disease he is spreading in the body of Christ. God bless you.” Click.

“I have heard horror stories of ministers who required their hosts to provide shopping money, certain types of exotic bottled water, limousines and manicurists. A childish rock star might be expected to ask for these luxuries, but such behavior is reprehensible for a minister of the gospel. Don’t cater to their appetites.”

That may sound harsh, but I don’t think there’s any other way to prevent the spread of this plague. The “celebrity syndrome” is still alive in 2011, in spite of the recession, and the only way we are going to stop big-headed charlatans from corrupting churches is to boycott them. We need to hand them a pink slip. I recommend these safeguards:

Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking Pets and Perfectionists

In this episode Mark and Debbie talk about cats, dogs, and perfectionists. A husband with allergies writes in about his wife who loves animals and has collected a number of outdoor cats and an indoor dog.
Later in the show, a wife is complaining about her husband who Mark determines is a perfectionist and gives tips on dealing with that.

For more information on the show and more of Mark Gungor, please check out our website, http://www.stinkingthinking.tv -

New Kid by Friday- part 2

http://firststepstoday.com

Last month I introduced some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday. In that letter I talked about his three pillars of your child’s self worth; Acceptance, Belonging, and Competence. Our parenting during our child’s infancy through preschool years sets the foundations for self worth. We show our acceptance and love even when we disapprove of his behaviour. Belonging to us, our family, and community is established as we treat him as special and teach him that he has responsibilities because he belongs to us. And we encourage his competence in tackling and succeeding in new tasks.

Another section of Dr. Leman’s book highlights the top 3 long-term concerns of parents: Attitude, Behaviour, and Character. For those of you who have infants, these concerns may sound like they are far off. Let me assure you, the time will pass all too quickly and you will be wanting a refresher on how to shape a child’s attitude, behaviour, and character.

In this letter I just want to touch on the first of these three: Attitudes.

An Encouraging Story

by Dr. Gary Chapman

Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." Good for Mark Twain, but I don't know many husbands and wives who can survive on six compliments a year. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew wisdom literature, wrote, "The tongue has the power of life and death. "Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Verbal compliments are powerful communicators of love.

A Kind Tongue

There is a difference between encouraging words and nagging words. Encouraging words always focus on something your spouse wants to do, not something you want them to do. A nag is anything you tell your spouse more than three times. If we are to express love by words of affirmation, those words must be kind words.

Kindness also has to do with the manner in which we speak. Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use. The same words expressed with a loud, harsh voice will not be an expression of love, but an expression of condemnation and judgement.

An Encouraging Story

One way to verbally affirm your spouse is to give encouraging words. Allison always wanted to be a writer, but after receiving her first rejection slip from the publisher, she gave up. 

One evening her husband Keith came into the den and said, 

"I hate to interrupt your reading, but I have to tell you this. I just finished reading your article. Allison, you are an excellent writer. This stuff ought to be published! Your words paint pictures that I can visualize. You have got to submit this stuff to some magazines."

"Do you really think so?" Allison asked.

"I know so," Keith said. "I'm telling you, this is good."

Ten years later, Allison has had several articles published and has her first book contract. She credits her success to Keith's words of encouragement. Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words.

GET SOCIAL: Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook at facebook.com/5lovelanguages

Sunday Sermon - 16-Oct-2011 - Dr Shirin Thomas & Elder Sim Say Khim

Speaker: Elder Sim Say Khim
White Fields Assembly Seremban

Worship Roster - 23 Oct

CHAIRMAN Liong K. C.
W. LEADER W. Kai Yew
BACK UPS Ng Siew Pin, Shankar R., Gigi Lim
PIANO Grace Lee
SYNTH
BASS Kenneth Lai
GUITAR Jacquelina L.
DRUMS Anna Sim
TIMBREL
PROJECTION Moses Tan, Bryan Tan
PA Tommy Q.

All Things Work for Good

by Max Lucado

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

We know…There are so many things we do not know. We do not know if the economy will dip or if our team will win. We do not know what our spouse is thinking or how our kids will turn out. We don’t even know “what we ought to pray” (Rom. 8:26). But according to Paul, we can be absolutely certain about four things. We know…

1. God works. He is busy behind the scenes, above the fray, within the fury. He hasn’t checked out or moved on. He is ceaseless and tireless. He never stops working.

2. God works for the good. Not for our comfort or pleasure or entertainment, but for our ultimate good. Since he is the ultimate good, would we expect anything less?

3. God works for the good of those who love him. Behold the benefit of loving God! Make his story your story, and your story takes on a happy ending. Guaranteed. Being the author of our salvation, he writes a salvation theme into our biography.

4. God works in all things. Panta, in Greek. Like “panoramic” or “panacea” or “pandemic.”All-inclusive. God works, not through a few things or through the good things, best things, or easy things. But in “all things” God works.

Puppet in the hands of fortune or fate? Not you. You are in the hands of a living, loving God. Random collection of disconnected short stories? Far from it. Your life is a crafted narrative written by a good God, who is working toward your supreme good.

From: God’s Story, Your Story Copyright (Zondervan, 2011) Max Lucado

When Life Gets Tough, It’s Time for 'Shigionoth'!

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

The prophet Habakkuk knew the secret: When circumstances look bad, we should hit the “rejoice” button and turn up the volume.

I have never been into country music. Nothing against Loretta Lynn, Kenny Chesney or Alan Jackson, or any of their fans, but I just don’t like twangy songs—especially the sentimental ones that drip with sadness about divorce, alcoholic husbands, wife abuse and rural poverty. Here are some of the worst examples of these heartbreaking tunes: 

•  “I’m Drinkin’ Christmas Dinner (All Alone This Year)”
• “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?” 
• “I Bought the Shoes (That Just Walked Out on Me)”
• “This White Circle on My Finger (Means We’re Through)”
• “If You Won’t Leave Me (I’ll Find Someone Who Will)”
• “Thank God and Greyhound (She’s Gone)”
• “When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Roadmap, I Knew You Meant Goodbye” 

“If you are in a difficult place today, I invite you to cancel your pity party. Stop singing sad songs about how bad it is. Instead, go in your secret place, shut the door and raise the roof with some Shigionoth praise.”

I know it can be strangely therapeutic to listen to someone sing about their problems when you have the blues. But even Elvis Presley could tell you that sad music will not pull anybody out of depression. You need to change the channel.

Talking to Your Kids About Sex

by Mark Gungor 

What do I tell my kids about sex? When do I talk to them about it? How old should they be when we have “the sex talk”? These are questions that I get all the time from parents in regard to educating kids about sex. It’s a task that many dread and can make even the strongest of men and women tremble with apprehension and fear. But is doesn’t have to be daunting if you can get comfortable and approach it as a constant conversation, rather than the one big event. “The Talk” is 1950s thinking and it doesn’t cut it in the world we live in today.

As parents, if you believe that talking to your kids one time is enough, you are dumb as a brick! It shows how just backward we Christians are in the area of sex education that we’re still thinking in terms of “the talk”. Your kids are bombarded with thousands of negative impressions, misinformation and straight-up lies regarding sex every single week of their lives. If you think that one conversation with you is going to counter all of that, you are sadly mistaken. Now, the good news is because you are the parent, you don’t have to go one-to-one with each message your kids take in. You have far greater influence than the world around and your voice carries more weight. But what you must do is capitalize on the teachable moments over and over again.

Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking: The Feminization of America

Mark talks about "girly men" and the feminization of America and the Church, including Dr. Steven Clark's list, The Signs of a Feminized Man. Mark and Debbie talk about teaching men to live by their feelings not being a good idea.

For more information on the show and more of Mark Gungor, please check out our website, http://www.stinkingthinking.tv -

Sunday Sermon - 10 Oct 2011 - Ps Dr Naresh Beniah

Speaker: Ps. Dr. Naresh Benaiah

http://www.mediafire.com/?d59gdxt2pqpbnl1

Worship Roster - 16 Oct - Communion

CHAIRMAN Caleb R.
W. LEADER Terry C.
BACK UPS Tan Hong Lu, Foong Yee, Lydia Sim
PIANO Chris Lai
SYNTH Kenneth Lai
BASS Darren Oi
GUITAR
DRUMS Priscilla Sim
TIMBREL
PROJECTION Joseph Yap
PA SYSTEM Manjit Singh

The Right Doors Open

by Max Lucado

You try one door after another, yet no one responds to your résumé. No university accepts your application. No doctor has a solution for your illness. No buyers look at your house.

Obstacles pack your path. Road, barricaded. Doorway, padlocked. Do you know the frustration of a blocked door?

God uses closed doors to advance his cause.

He closed the womb of a young Sarah so he could display his power to the elderly one.

He shut the palace door on Moses the prince so he could open shackles through Moses the liberator.

He marched Daniel out of Jerusalem so he could use Daniel in Babylon.

And Jesus. Yes, even Jesus knew the challenge of a blocked door. When he requested a path that bypassed the cross, God said no. He said no to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane so he could say yes to us at the gates of heaven.

It’s not that our plans are bad but that God’s plans are better.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:8–9 NLT)

Your blocked door doesn’t mean God doesn’t love you. Quite the opposite. It’s proof that he does.

From God’s Story, Your Story Copyright (Zondervan, 2011) Max Lucado

Do You Really Know the Father’s Love?

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

Many people struggle to believe God loves them because of a dysfunctional mom or dad.

This past weekend I spoke to some students at a college in New Hampshire. Knowing that many young people today come from broken homes (more than 1 million children today are the victims of divorce), I felt I needed to talk to them about the fatherly heart of God. I wasn’t surprised when several people’s eyes got misty as soon as I mentioned the word “father.” 

 “What about you? Do you have emotional wounds resulting from your upbringing? If so, these hurts can block your understanding of God’s unconditional love.”

What about you? Do you have emotional wounds resulting from your upbringing? If so, such hurts can block your understanding of God’s unconditional love. I encourage you to not only forgive your parents but also to renounce unhealthy mindsets you may have adopted because of trauma. Make sure you believe the following:

1. Your heavenly Father will never abandon you. Nothing is more traumatic to a child than a family breakup. Children often blame themselves for divorce—and they experience acute feelings of insecurity. They can also develop the wrong idea that if their father or mother was willing to walk away from them, God will do the same.

Believe the truth: God says, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Heb. 13:5, NASB). Earthly parents may break promises, but God is always faithful.