New Kid by Friday- part 3

 http://firststepstoday.com

Over the last two months I’ve been sharing some insights form Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday. In February I reviewed the three pillars of a child’s self worth: Acceptance, Belonging, and Competence. Then in March I reviewed the first of the top 3 long-term concerns of parents, Attitude. I planned to talk about Behavior this month, but since I’d like to expand on that topic over several months, I’m going to skip forward and cover Character this month. 

• Here are some things Dr. Leman says about character: Character is “who you are when no one is looking.” 
• “Character is not only everything, it’s the only thing in the long run. It is the foundation for your attitude and behavior.” 
• “Character doesn’t mean you are perfect. It means you have an inner standard that cares about others more than yourself.”

Strong will and strong character are not the same. Strong will is the tough, unbending determination to do what they want. Strong character is the ability to stand up and do the right thing even when it is unpopular or personally costly. So what can you do during the first few years of your child’s life to help them begin to develop a strong character?

There are some things you can begin to teach your toddler and preschooler that will help him develop good character.

Sunday Sermon - 30-Oct-2011 - Youth Ministry

Speaker: Bro. Wong Kai Yew, Bro. Chew Weng Ern & Youth Ministry
White Fields Assembly Seremban

http://www.mediafire.com/?onl9m79qc5wxayx

Worship Roster - 6 Nov - Communion

CHAIRMAN Tan H. L.
W. LEADER Priscilla Sim
BACK UPS Ng Siew Pin, Shankar R., Gigi Lim
PIANO Lydia Sim
SYNTH
BASS Terry C.
GUITAR Jacquelina L.
DRUMS W. Kai Yew
TIMBREL
PROJECTION Moses Tan, Bryan Tan
PA Manjit Singh

We Shall Be Like Him

by Max Lucado

Jesus’ plan is to “gather together in one all things in Christ” (Eph. 1:10 NKJV). “All things” includes your body. Your eyes that read this book. Your hands that hold it. Your blood-pumping heart, arm-hinging elbow, weight-supporting torso. God will reunite your body with your soul and create something unlike anything you have seen: an eternal body.

You will finally be healthy. You never have been. Even on the days you felt fine, you weren’t. You were a sitting duck for disease, infections, airborne bacteria, and microbes. And what about you on your worst days?

I hate disease. I’m sick of it.

So is Christ. Consider his response to the suffering of a deaf mute. “He took him aside from the multitude, and put His fingers in his ears, and He spat and touched his tongue. Then, looking up to heaven, He sighed, and said to him, ‘Ephphatha,’ that is, ‘Be opened’ ” (Mark 7:33–34 NKJV).

Everything about this healing stands out. The way Jesus separates the man from the crowd. The tongue and ear touching. The presence of Aramaic in the Greek account. But it’s the sigh that we notice. Jesus looked up to heaven and sighed. This is a sigh of sadness, a deep breath, and a heavenly glance that resolves, “It won’t be this way for long.”

Jesus will heal all who seek healing in him. There are no exceptions to this promise—no nuances, fine-print conditions, or caveats. To say some will be healed beyond the grave by no means diminishes the promise. The truth is this: “When he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2, emphasis mine).

“We shall be like him.” Let every parent of a Down syndrome or wheelchair-bound child write these words on the bedroom wall. Let the disabled, infected, bedridden, and anemic put themselves to sleep with the promise “We shall be like him.” Let amputees and the atrophied take this promise to heart: “We shall be like him.”

From: God’s Story, Your Story Copyright (Zondervan, 2011) Max Lucado

Getting Rid of Bitterness

 by Dr. Gary Chapman

Have you ever heard the expression don't get angry get even? Well, there may be a better way to deal with that unexpressed anger than vengeance. Let's look at two negative ways and one positive way of responding to anger and bitterness.

First, there is unexpressed anger; holding it inside and letting it smolder. When we do this, the bitterness becomes like a malignant cancer slowly destroying the fiber of life. Then, there is uncontrolled expression of anger. Like an explosion it destroys everything in its range. Such an outburst is like an emotional heart attack and may produce permanent damage.

There is a better way. It begins by saying to yourself, "I'm extremely angry and bitter about what my spouse has done. But I will not allow their wrong to destroy me and I will not attempt to destroy them. I will turn my spouse over to God who is just, and I will release my anger and bitterness to God." The Biblical challenge is "get rid of anger and bitterness," (Col. 3:8).

Confess to God that you have held your anger inside and that you are bitter. Ask His forgiveness for handling your anger in a sinful way. Then confess your bitterness to your spouse and ask forgiveness. Find a counselor or trusted friend who can help you release your spouse and your anger to God, in order to live a constructive life in the future. Let me admit that a one time confession of bitterness may not eliminate all hostile feelings. If the bitterness has been there a long time, the hostile feelings may die slowly.

Paul said, "Never pay back evil for evil... Never take your own revenge, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:17,19).

You may have been greatly wronged by your spouse, but it is not your responsibility to punish them for their sin. They must face God with their sin, and God is a just judge. Verbal retaliation accomplishes no constructive purpose. Seeking the good of your mate, which the Bible calls love, has much potential for good.

GET SOCIAL: Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook at facebook.com/5lovelanguages

It’s (Past) Time for a Charismatic Reformation

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

 In honor of Reformation Day, here are some complaints I’m nailing on the Wittenberg door.

 Long before there was an Occupy Wall Street, Martin Luther staged the most important protest in history. He was upset because Roman Catholic officials were promising people forgiveness or early escape from purgatory in exchange for money. So on October 31, 1517, Luther nailed a long list of complaints on the door of a church in Wittenberg, Germany.

Luther’s famous 95 theses were translated from Latin into German and spread abroad. Like a medieval Jeremiah, Luther dared to ask questions that had never been asked, and he challenged a pope who was supposedly infallible. Through this brave monk, the Holy Spirit sparked the Protestant Reformation and restored the doctrine of grace to a church that had become corrupt, religious, dysfunctional, political and spiritually dead.

“I’ve grown increasingly aware that the so-called ‘Spirit-filled’ church of today struggles with many of the same things the Catholic church faced in the 1500s. We don’t have ‘indulgences’—we have telethons. We don’t have popes—we have super-apostles.”

 I am no Luther, but I’ve grown increasingly aware that the so-called “Spirit-filled” church of today struggles with many of the same things the Catholic church faced in the 1500s. We don’t have “indulgences”—we have telethons. We don’t have popes—we have super-apostles. We don’t support an untouchable priesthood—we throw our money at celebrity evangelists who own fleets of private jets.

Jesus Was Not a Hypocrite

by Mark Gungor

Have you noticed that people are extremely caught up in their feelings in today’s culture…even our Christian culture? They think they have to be honest with their feelings. They live by the belief that they have to live by their emotions and verbally vomit their feelings on those around them. So often they say that they cannot or will not act in any way, shape or form that is contrary to what they feel. For example, if I don’t “feel” in love with my spouse, I can’t possibly stay in my marriage because I’m not being true to what I feel. If I stayed married to a woman that I didn’t have feelings of love for, I would be a hypocrite.

Or how about his one, I can’t act in loving and kind ways toward my spouse because I don’t feel full of loving-kindness. Maybe I feel nothing, or perhaps I feel anger or resentment. I can’t possibly act like I want to be with her, or tell her I love her if I don’t feel love. That, too, would make me a hypocrite. Way too many people think that they must feel the emotions in order for it to be love. They say that without the feelings, it’s not love. Well, I’ve got news for you…based on this kind of stupid thinking and what people say, Jesus didn’t love us and he was a hypocrite.

Hang on to your horses and don’t have a cow…let me explain. Love is not an emotion—it’s an action. Your feelings may or may not line up with the actions you put forth. In fact, when it comes to real, biblical love, warm, fuzzy, lovey dovey emotions may not exist, but your actions can still show love. If you believe you must have the feelings in order to love, you are flat out wrong. Jesus proved it when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane heading toward his crucifixion.

Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking: Joining the Family

Watch the entire first episode of Mark's TV show from the second season! In this episode, Mark and Debbie discuss dating and the idea that when you marry someone, you're joining into a family, if you don't like your future spouse's family, you shouldn't be marrying that person. 

For more information on the show and more of Mark Gungor, please check out our website, http://www.stinkingthinking.tv -

God in Ancient China

Sunday Sermon - 23-Oct-2011 - Ps Lee Hock Cheng

Speaker: Ps. Lee Hock Heng
Missions Director, Full Gospel Assembly KL

http://www.mediafire.com/?lsl6wkxwpr3lkjl

Worship Roster - 30 Oct

CHAIRMAN Lareina Chang
W. LEADER Anna Sim
BACK UPS Rachel Yee, Jacquelina Lim, Bryan Tan
PIANO Lai Meng Fhui
SYNTH Jocelyn Lee
BASS Kenneth Lai
GUITAR Nigel
DRUMS Darren Ooi
TIMBREL Joycelyn / Lareina / Colleen
PROJECTION Timothy C.
PA Jason Lee

A Tender Touch

by Dr. Gary Chapman

Keeping emotional love alive in a marriage makes life much more enjoyable. How do we keep love alive after the "in-love" emotions have evaporated? I believe it is by learning to speak each other's "love language." This week we will focus on physical touch.

For some husbands, when they hear the words physical touch, they immediately think of sex. But sexual intercourse is only one of the dialects of this love language. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or an arm around the shoulder are all ways of expressing love by physical touch.

Physical touch can make or break a marital relationship. Do you know how to speak this love language? To the spouse whose primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than your tender touches. You may give them words of affirmation or gifts, but nothing communicates love like physical touch. 

Touches may be explicit and call for your full attention, such as a back rub or sexual foreplay. They can be implicit and require only a moment, such as putting your hand on his shoulder as you pour a cup of coffee. Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination. Kiss when you get in the car. It may greatly enhance your travels. Give a hug before you go shopping. You may hear less griping when you return. Remember, you are learning to speak a new language.

When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness. This is especially true if the primary love language of your spouse is physical touch. You may say, "What if I'm just not a toucher? I didn't grow up in a touchy-feely family." The good news is that you can learn to speak this love language. It can begin with a pat on the back, or putting your hand on their leg as you sit together on the couch.

Almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another. Why? During these times, we need to feel loved more than anything. All marriages will experience crises. Disappointments are a part of life. The most important thing you can do for your wife in a time of crisis is to love her. If her primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries. Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. In a time of crisis, a hug is worth more than a thousand words. Physical touch is a powerful love language.

GET SOCIAL: Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook at facebook.com/5lovelanguages

God Will Come For You

by Max Lucado

“I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: ‘Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They’re his people, he’s their God’” (Rev. 21:3 MSG). The narrator makes the same point four times in four consecutive phrases:

“God has moved into the neighborhood”

“making his home with men and women”

“They’re his people”

“he’s their God”

The announcement comes with the energy of a six-year-old declaring the arrival of his father from a long trip. “Daddy’s home! He’s here! Mom, he’s back!” One statement won’t suffice. This is big news worthy of repetition. We shall finally see God face-to-face. “They shall see His face” (Rev. 22:4 NKJV).

Let this sink in. You will see the face of God. You will look into the eyes of the One who has always seen; you will behold the mouth that commands history. And if there is anything more amazing than the moment you see his face, it’s the moment he touches yours. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes” (Rev. 21:4 NCV).

God will touch your tears. Not flex his muscles or show off his power. Lesser kings would strut their stallions or give a victory speech. Not God. He prefers to rub a thumb across your cheek as if to say, “There, there…no more tears.

Isn’t that what a father does? 

From: God’s Story, Your Story

Copyright (Zondervan, 2011) Max Lucado

Don’t Let Your Pulpit Be Defiled

J. Lee Grady Newsletters - Fire In My Bones

Visiting ministers can be a great blessing to any church. But if you don’t do your homework, you could be inviting disaster.

A friend of mine recently told me that the leaders of a ministry invited a prominent American preacher to speak at a conference. During discussions about the engagement, the preacher’s handlers explained two of the terms of his visit: (1) he was always to be addressed as “apostle” by anyone who spoke to him; and (2) he was to be ushered out of the auditorium and into a green room immediately after he delivered his sermon, to guarantee that he would not have to fraternize with the audience. He needed his privacy.

If I had been on the other end of the telephone conversation that day, I would have offered this reply: “Please tell Apostle Arrogance that since he is so concerned about being bothered by the little people, never mind. Just don’t come. We don’t need the disease he is spreading in the body of Christ. God bless you.” Click.

“I have heard horror stories of ministers who required their hosts to provide shopping money, certain types of exotic bottled water, limousines and manicurists. A childish rock star might be expected to ask for these luxuries, but such behavior is reprehensible for a minister of the gospel. Don’t cater to their appetites.”

That may sound harsh, but I don’t think there’s any other way to prevent the spread of this plague. The “celebrity syndrome” is still alive in 2011, in spite of the recession, and the only way we are going to stop big-headed charlatans from corrupting churches is to boycott them. We need to hand them a pink slip. I recommend these safeguards:

Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking Pets and Perfectionists

In this episode Mark and Debbie talk about cats, dogs, and perfectionists. A husband with allergies writes in about his wife who loves animals and has collected a number of outdoor cats and an indoor dog.
Later in the show, a wife is complaining about her husband who Mark determines is a perfectionist and gives tips on dealing with that.

For more information on the show and more of Mark Gungor, please check out our website, http://www.stinkingthinking.tv -

New Kid by Friday- part 2

http://firststepstoday.com

Last month I introduced some insights from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, Have a New Kid by Friday. In that letter I talked about his three pillars of your child’s self worth; Acceptance, Belonging, and Competence. Our parenting during our child’s infancy through preschool years sets the foundations for self worth. We show our acceptance and love even when we disapprove of his behaviour. Belonging to us, our family, and community is established as we treat him as special and teach him that he has responsibilities because he belongs to us. And we encourage his competence in tackling and succeeding in new tasks.

Another section of Dr. Leman’s book highlights the top 3 long-term concerns of parents: Attitude, Behaviour, and Character. For those of you who have infants, these concerns may sound like they are far off. Let me assure you, the time will pass all too quickly and you will be wanting a refresher on how to shape a child’s attitude, behaviour, and character.

In this letter I just want to touch on the first of these three: Attitudes.

An Encouraging Story

by Dr. Gary Chapman

Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." Good for Mark Twain, but I don't know many husbands and wives who can survive on six compliments a year. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew wisdom literature, wrote, "The tongue has the power of life and death. "Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Verbal compliments are powerful communicators of love.

A Kind Tongue

There is a difference between encouraging words and nagging words. Encouraging words always focus on something your spouse wants to do, not something you want them to do. A nag is anything you tell your spouse more than three times. If we are to express love by words of affirmation, those words must be kind words.

Kindness also has to do with the manner in which we speak. Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use. The same words expressed with a loud, harsh voice will not be an expression of love, but an expression of condemnation and judgement.

An Encouraging Story

One way to verbally affirm your spouse is to give encouraging words. Allison always wanted to be a writer, but after receiving her first rejection slip from the publisher, she gave up. 

One evening her husband Keith came into the den and said, 

"I hate to interrupt your reading, but I have to tell you this. I just finished reading your article. Allison, you are an excellent writer. This stuff ought to be published! Your words paint pictures that I can visualize. You have got to submit this stuff to some magazines."

"Do you really think so?" Allison asked.

"I know so," Keith said. "I'm telling you, this is good."

Ten years later, Allison has had several articles published and has her first book contract. She credits her success to Keith's words of encouragement. Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words.

GET SOCIAL: Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook at facebook.com/5lovelanguages

Sunday Sermon - 16-Oct-2011 - Dr Shirin Thomas & Elder Sim Say Khim

Speaker: Elder Sim Say Khim
White Fields Assembly Seremban

Worship Roster - 23 Oct

CHAIRMAN Liong K. C.
W. LEADER W. Kai Yew
BACK UPS Ng Siew Pin, Shankar R., Gigi Lim
PIANO Grace Lee
SYNTH
BASS Kenneth Lai
GUITAR Jacquelina L.
DRUMS Anna Sim
TIMBREL
PROJECTION Moses Tan, Bryan Tan
PA Tommy Q.

All Things Work for Good

by Max Lucado

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

We know…There are so many things we do not know. We do not know if the economy will dip or if our team will win. We do not know what our spouse is thinking or how our kids will turn out. We don’t even know “what we ought to pray” (Rom. 8:26). But according to Paul, we can be absolutely certain about four things. We know…

1. God works. He is busy behind the scenes, above the fray, within the fury. He hasn’t checked out or moved on. He is ceaseless and tireless. He never stops working.

2. God works for the good. Not for our comfort or pleasure or entertainment, but for our ultimate good. Since he is the ultimate good, would we expect anything less?

3. God works for the good of those who love him. Behold the benefit of loving God! Make his story your story, and your story takes on a happy ending. Guaranteed. Being the author of our salvation, he writes a salvation theme into our biography.

4. God works in all things. Panta, in Greek. Like “panoramic” or “panacea” or “pandemic.”All-inclusive. God works, not through a few things or through the good things, best things, or easy things. But in “all things” God works.

Puppet in the hands of fortune or fate? Not you. You are in the hands of a living, loving God. Random collection of disconnected short stories? Far from it. Your life is a crafted narrative written by a good God, who is working toward your supreme good.

From: God’s Story, Your Story Copyright (Zondervan, 2011) Max Lucado