Loving Your Child Through Quality Time

Four-year-old Sara is pulling on her mother’s leg. “Mommy, Mommy, let’s go play!” “I can’t play right now,” her mother says. “I’m making potato salad. I’ll play with you as soon as I finish.” Two minutes later Sara returns to ask again.

What can we learn from this scenario? Sara is revealing her primary love language – quality time. What really makes her feel loved is her mother’s undivided attention. However, her mother may see her pleading as irritating. Don’t ignore your child’s irritating behavior. They are giving you valuable information.

Are You Speaking the Right Love Language?
Quality time means giving a child your undivided attention. If you are a parent, do your children feel loved? I didn’t ask, "Do you love your children?" I know the answer to that. It is not enough to be sincere. It’s highly possible that you are not speaking your child’s love language.

If you don’t give them quality time, they will not feel loved even though you are giving them ‘words of affirmation’, ‘physical touch’ ‘gifts’ and ‘acts of service’. If your child is begging you to do things with them, then quality time is likely their love language. If you haven’t read my book The Five Love Languages of Children, I urge you to do so.

How to Give Quality Time
All children love stories. When they are small we read to them, and the story often leads to exciting conversations. Stories often stimulate emotions. Asking a child, “How does that make you feel?” is a way of helping the child learn to express emotions. Children also like to hear you tell stories about your childhood. You can give the child a sense of belonging when sharing your stories.

Reading and telling stories is one way to give a child ‘quality time’. For those brief moments, the child has your undivided attention. If this is the child’s primary love language, then nothing is more important in making that child feel loved. When you meet a child’s need for love, you are laying the foundation for a bright future.


What's your love language? Take the 30-second quiz.
Adapted from The Five Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. To find out more about his resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.